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    I think you're the father of one of my kids.

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    Campbell Brodie
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 36279
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 62
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    I think you're the father of one of my kids.

    Post by Campbell Brodie on Fri 20 May 2016 - 19:59

    A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him. She says hello. He’s rather taken aback because he can’t place where he knows her from. So he says, "Do you know me?" To which she replies, "I think you’re the father of one of my kids." Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, "My God, are you the stripper from my bachelor party that I made love to on the pool table with all my buddies watching while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery?" She looks into his eyes and says calmly, "No, I’m your son’s teacher."



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    Adam Mint
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 18394
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    Age : 52

    Re: I think you're the father of one of my kids.

    Post by Adam Mint on Fri 20 May 2016 - 22:11

    Ann Summers is bringing out a beer flavoured vaginal cream in the hope of encouraging men to perform oral sex on women more often,,, but there are fears in could lead to minge drinking...
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    Mcqueen
     
     

    England Male Posts : 24039
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    Re: I think you're the father of one of my kids.

    Post by Mcqueen on Sat 21 May 2016 - 8:00

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    Campbell Brodie
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 36279
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    Location : Scotland

    Re: I think you're the father of one of my kids.

    Post by Campbell Brodie on Sat 21 May 2016 - 8:23

    We really shouldn't let him post after 10:00pm... lol!



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    Mcqueen
     
     

    England Male Posts : 24039
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    Re: I think you're the father of one of my kids.

    Post by Mcqueen on Sat 21 May 2016 - 9:23

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    Adam Mint
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 18394
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    Re: I think you're the father of one of my kids.

    Post by Adam Mint on Sat 21 May 2016 - 10:53

    Aw shit it's 10:53 now...
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    Adam Mint
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 18394
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    Re: I think you're the father of one of my kids.

    Post by Adam Mint on Sat 21 May 2016 - 10:57

    PS; what's a meridian...

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    Campbell Brodie
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 36279
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    Re: I think you're the father of one of my kids.

    Post by Campbell Brodie on Sat 21 May 2016 - 11:03

    Line of longitude innit...or is it latitude?



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    Adam Mint
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 18394
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    Re: I think you're the father of one of my kids.

    Post by Adam Mint on Sat 21 May 2016 - 11:05

    Don't come over with that attitude on me...

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    Perfectspecimen
     
     

    Liechtenstein Male Posts : 13077
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    Re: I think you're the father of one of my kids.

    Post by Perfectspecimen on Sat 21 May 2016 - 12:39

    Longitude.



    Adventure before dementia!!!
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    Campbell Brodie
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 36279
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    Re: I think you're the father of one of my kids.

    Post by Campbell Brodie on Sat 21 May 2016 - 14:04

    I knew that...just hedging my bets.



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    Topdog
     
     

    England Male Posts : 21171
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    Re: I think you're the father of one of my kids.

    Post by Topdog on Sat 21 May 2016 - 19:36

    Runs through Peacehaven in Brighton and Grenwhich, feck off you others that take the piss out of England you all live by our Time and most speak our Language.
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    Adam Mint
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 18394
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    Re: I think you're the father of one of my kids.

    Post by Adam Mint on Sat 21 May 2016 - 22:47

    So it's you cun#s fault pubs have closing times...

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    Topdog
     
     

    England Male Posts : 21171
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    Re: I think you're the father of one of my kids.

    Post by Topdog on Sat 21 May 2016 - 23:16

    no because of inernational timezones caused by us there is always a pub open somewhere.
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    Adam Mint
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 18394
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    Re: I think you're the father of one of my kids.

    Post by Adam Mint on Sat 21 May 2016 - 23:39

    So it's five o'clock somewhere...
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    3rdforum
     
     

    Ireland Male Posts : 19293
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    Re: I think you're the father of one of my kids.

    Post by 3rdforum on Sat 21 May 2016 - 23:48

    The prime meridian used to go through Paris ( through the Sacred Cour or possibly Notre Same ) at one time. Not sure how it ended up in Greenwich. As far as I know it also runs directly through Rosslyn Chapel outside Edinburgh where it is rumoured the Holy Grail is buried. Very informative forum this






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    3rdforum
     
     

    Ireland Male Posts : 19293
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    Re: I think you're the father of one of my kids.

    Post by 3rdforum on Sat 21 May 2016 - 23:56

    Although that Rosslyn Chapel bit could be arseways cos I based it mainly on the Da Vinci code






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    Adam Mint
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 18394
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    Re: I think you're the father of one of my kids.

    Post by Adam Mint on Sat 21 May 2016 - 23:58

    Do I give a shit right now.... xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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    Perfectspecimen
     
     

    Liechtenstein Male Posts : 13077
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    Re: I think you're the father of one of my kids.

    Post by Perfectspecimen on Sun 22 May 2016 - 0:12

    Think Edinburghs way too far West Dermot. It went through, no goes through, Highams Park, Chingford where I grew up. Right near the level crossing. There was a plaque in the pavement but its probably long gone now. I remember the steam trains on that line too.    I can remember wanting to be a train driver when I was little. Should have persued it. Would be retired on a 30k pension now.....    Pilots dont get that.........



    Adventure before dementia!!!
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    Adam Mint
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 18394
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    Re: I think you're the father of one of my kids.

    Post by Adam Mint on Sun 22 May 2016 - 0:18

    As a kid before we got on a train I had to go and speak to the driver cos I wanted to be one,,, thank feck I didn't, know a couple of guys who do,,, boring...
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    Perfectspecimen
     
     

    Liechtenstein Male Posts : 13077
    Join date : 2011-08-15
    Age : 63
    Location : Cambs / Golf del Sur

    Re: I think you're the father of one of my kids.

    Post by Perfectspecimen on Sun 22 May 2016 - 0:30

    Think they have to have two in the cab now. Yes it must be intensely boring. Like East Midlands to Tenerife for the pilots. Another good reason to use the Holiday Airlines as opposed to Ryanair. Every now and again the crew get to go to Goa or Mexico or Caribbean and a couple of days round the pool. Keeps em keen and attentive like.



    Adventure before dementia!!!
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    Adam Mint
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 18394
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    Re: I think you're the father of one of my kids.

    Post by Adam Mint on Sun 22 May 2016 - 0:38

    Going Manchester Belfast in a few weeks, so what have I got to look forward to...
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    Perfectspecimen
     
     

    Liechtenstein Male Posts : 13077
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    Location : Cambs / Golf del Sur

    Re: I think you're the father of one of my kids.

    Post by Perfectspecimen on Sun 22 May 2016 - 0:52

    Isle of Man.



    Adventure before dementia!!!
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    3rdforum
     
     

    Ireland Male Posts : 19293
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    Re: I think you're the father of one of my kids.

    Post by 3rdforum on Sun 22 May 2016 - 1:26

    My brother lives there.  Drop in for a cuppa






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    Perfectspecimen
     
     

    Liechtenstein Male Posts : 13077
    Join date : 2011-08-15
    Age : 63
    Location : Cambs / Golf del Sur

    Re: I think you're the father of one of my kids.

    Post by Perfectspecimen on Sun 22 May 2016 - 1:30

    You can probably buy parachutes on ebay.......



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