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    How To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity in retirement

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    Gypsy
     
     

    Spain Female Posts : 12276
    Join date : 2011-08-14
    Age : 70

    How To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity in retirement

    Post by Gypsy on Tue 3 Mar 2015 - 17:21

    A few of you are close behind me as you head into retirement, so I thought I would give you a few tips to help you through each day.

    1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars...watch 'em Slow Down!


    2. On all your cheque stubs, write 'For Marijuana'!


    3. Skip down the street Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.


    4. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.


    5. Sing Along At The Opera.


    6. When the money comes out of the atm, scream 'I Won! I Won!'


    7. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the car park, 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'


    8. Tell Your Children over dinner: 'Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go....


    9. Pick up a box of condoms at the pharmacy, go to the counter and ask where the fitting room is.


    And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity.... my favourite.

    10. Go to a large Department stores fitting room and yell out....”THERE IS NO TOILET PAPER IN HERE!”
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    Mcqueen
     
     

    England Male Posts : 24457
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 63
    Location : England

    Re: How To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity in retirement

    Post by Mcqueen on Tue 3 Mar 2015 - 17:27

    10, Son Toby worked for Levi and the number of times  somebody left a turd in the fitting room
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    3rdforum
     
     

    Ireland Male Posts : 19546
    Join date : 2011-08-30
    Age : 47
    Location : Ireland

    Re: How To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity in retirement

    Post by 3rdforum on Tue 3 Mar 2015 - 17:36

    no 9 is good






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    Mermaid
     
     

    Scotland Female Posts : 8801
    Join date : 2011-08-14
    Location : Scotland

    Re: How To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity in retirement

    Post by Mermaid on Tue 3 Mar 2015 - 20:42

    love them.



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      Current date/time is Thu 21 Sep 2017 - 22:14