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Tenerife's Forum of Fun

A place for visitors and residents to share experiences and have fun at the same time.

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    we are here

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    Topdog
     
     

    England Male Posts : 21259
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 58
    Location : England

    Re: we are here

    Post by Topdog on Fri 8 Aug 2014 - 16:55

    He is UnBiased
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    3rdforum
     
     

    Ireland Male Posts : 19646
    Join date : 2011-08-30
    Age : 47
    Location : Ireland

    Re: we are here

    Post by 3rdforum on Fri 8 Aug 2014 - 18:50

    Last Sat week, we went to Topdog's for a bbq. Jan, Stu, Sadie and Billy gave us a lovely welcome. Stu was doing the cooking. "would you like to try a chilli sausage" he said. "No problem" , I said, "how hot are they?". Stu gave me a whole naga chilli to take a little bite from. I took the tiniest morsel from the bottom and nothing happened. "Try from the top" he said and cut off a tiny sliver. I tried it and nothing happened for about 4 seconds. Then it felt like someone had dropped acid on my tongue. feckin' thing was on fire. Then I looked at Billy. He didn't look well. Sitting there in a heap. Clothes stuck to him and sweat dripping off. "Did you try as well? I asked. "Nope, I've just eaten a chilli sausage and I'm on fire. My lips are numb!"

    "Have a beer" said Stu, handing him a bottle. Billy took a swig, still no better. Kev told him to get milk to cool down. Stu handed him his beer when he came back. Billy took another swig. Still nothing helped. An hour later, Billy was near collapse. Nothing was making his mouth better. Then he spotted Stu. He ( Stu) had been rubbing the raw chilli around the top of Billy's bottle everytime his back was turned.     

    Then it got better. Stu had been using his bare hands with the chilli. He then took a piss!             . The best thing abbout it was that he forgot and half an hour later, he took another piss         . God help his missus if she got her leg over that night      






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    Mermaid
     
     

    Scotland Female Posts : 8846
    Join date : 2011-08-14
    Location : Scotland

    Re: we are here

    Post by Mermaid on Fri 8 Aug 2014 - 19:08

                                



    Live life to the full now or it could be too late
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    Mcqueen
     
     

    England Male Posts : 24704
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 63
    Location : England

    Re: we are here

    Post by Mcqueen on Fri 8 Aug 2014 - 19:46

    Billy has a lot to learn    
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    Topdog
     
     

    England Male Posts : 21259
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 58
    Location : England

    Re: we are here

    Post by Topdog on Fri 8 Aug 2014 - 20:12

    Billy gave Stu a blow job later, even worse
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    3rdforum
     
     

    Ireland Male Posts : 19646
    Join date : 2011-08-30
    Age : 47
    Location : Ireland

    Re: we are here

    Post by 3rdforum on Fri 8 Aug 2014 - 20:21

            






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    Campbell Brodie
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 37739
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 62
    Location : Scotland

    Re: we are here

    Post by Campbell Brodie on Fri 8 Aug 2014 - 21:29

    Aw! Feck me, that's great!      



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    Daryn
     
     

    UK Male Posts : 654
    Join date : 2011-09-05
    Age : 50
    Location : South Tyneside UK

    Re: we are here

    Post by Daryn on Fri 8 Aug 2014 - 22:04

    Topdog wrote:Billy gave Stu a blow job later, even worse
    WTF I did see a swingers club on the coast but never thought you were into that lol



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    Topdog
     
     

    England Male Posts : 21259
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 58
    Location : England

    Re: we are here

    Post by Topdog on Fri 8 Aug 2014 - 22:19

    Nah but bills lips were burning and needed to get his own back. Swingers club don't think any of us know about that, just you then
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    Adam Mint
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 19339
    Join date : 2011-10-07
    Age : 52

    Re: we are here

    Post by Adam Mint on Sat 9 Aug 2014 - 1:59

    Some people just don't listen,,, I warned you about them and their chilli fetish...

    Shit, got the munchies again...

     food
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    Topdog
     
     

    England Male Posts : 21259
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 58
    Location : England

    Re: we are here

    Post by Topdog on Sat 9 Aug 2014 - 20:21

    Chilli nah really hot
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    Daryn
     
     

    UK Male Posts : 654
    Join date : 2011-09-05
    Age : 50
    Location : South Tyneside UK

    Re: we are here

    Post by Daryn on Sun 10 Aug 2014 - 1:33

    Just got in.we ended up in that club below the complex, looks really nice and plays lots of different music BUT the draft dorada was even worse than the white we had from that Irish bar, no need for a club like that to cheat and water drinks down plenty people in because the tunes are good, 3euro for a pint of piss yuk not nice. If I owned a club I would like people mentioning my good drinks as well as my music.



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    Mcqueen
     
     

    England Male Posts : 24704
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 63
    Location : England

    Re: we are here

    Post by Mcqueen on Sun 10 Aug 2014 - 9:11

    Glad i dont drink    Maybe bottled beer would be safer  
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    Perfectspecimen
     
     

    Liechtenstein Male Posts : 13290
    Join date : 2011-08-15
    Age : 63
    Location : Cambs / Golf del Sur

    Re: we are here

    Post by Perfectspecimen on Sun 10 Aug 2014 - 11:26

    Bottled beer saves the runs problem too but I rarely drink it myself. Why not sit in the sun all afternoon outside a Euro a pint bar to get well and truly tanked up then hit the entertainment bars. Well over paid the so-called entertainers anyway, want 50 euros for doing what they enjoy for an hour or even less then sit there moaning about a lack of work. Personally I would rather watch twats like me doing karaoke in a bar like Sundowners that charge 150 a pint no matter when you turn up and are still open at 2am.



    Adventure before dementia!!!
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    Daryn
     
     

    UK Male Posts : 654
    Join date : 2011-09-05
    Age : 50
    Location : South Tyneside UK

    Re: we are here

    Post by Daryn on Mon 11 Aug 2014 - 0:55

    What  a great night sitting in abar and an old friend sat right next to us with her family, Lisa used to go out with my best mate at the time and we all went to magaluf back I. 1986 my first holiday abroad what a great time that was. Anyway loved catching up and a lovely surprise 



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    Adam Mint
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 19339
    Join date : 2011-10-07
    Age : 52

    Re: we are here

    Post by Adam Mint on Mon 11 Aug 2014 - 1:06

    Weird when you go on holiday, bump in to people you ain't seen for years, or get talking to someone who knows someone you know...
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    Mcqueen
     
     

    England Male Posts : 24704
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 63
    Location : England

    Re: we are here

    Post by Mcqueen on Mon 11 Aug 2014 - 8:02

    Lent my church going neighbours the apartment once, they were sat on a bench down by the harbour when another couple sat down beside them, they got chatting and it turned out to be friends that live in Graciosa 11 for 6 months of the year, spooky or what 
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    Campbell Brodie
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 37739
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 62
    Location : Scotland

    Re: we are here

    Post by Campbell Brodie on Mon 11 Aug 2014 - 9:25

    I bumped into someone from the wee village I grew up in at Puerto Colon and also my boss's boss (retired now), in Los Cristianos!   



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    Topdog
     
     

    England Male Posts : 21259
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 58
    Location : England

    Re: we are here

    Post by Topdog on Mon 11 Aug 2014 - 18:41

    Florida
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    Daryn
     
     

    UK Male Posts : 654
    Join date : 2011-09-05
    Age : 50
    Location : South Tyneside UK

    Re: we are here

    Post by Daryn on Tue 12 Aug 2014 - 1:44

    Went too that expensive place above the fountains so Debbie could have an8euro cocktail she didn't really like lol, she got chatted up by an 9 year old his Dada was pissinghimself laughing, I said enough is enough sick of these posh bars back to the bulls head for white beers but great tunes, I love that band playing classic rock, vegabonds I think they are called.



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    Topdog
     
     

    England Male Posts : 21259
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 58
    Location : England

    Re: we are here

    Post by Topdog on Tue 12 Aug 2014 - 8:17

    Vagabonds and to be honest I think Harrys bar has the worst and most overpriced cocktails around
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    Topdog
     
     

    England Male Posts : 21259
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 58
    Location : England

    Re: we are here

    Post by Topdog on Tue 12 Aug 2014 - 8:17

    Take her to the watermelon in San Telmo for a chocolate cocktail
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    Daryn
     
     

    UK Male Posts : 654
    Join date : 2011-09-05
    Age : 50
    Location : South Tyneside UK

    Re: we are here

    Post by Daryn on Tue 12 Aug 2014 - 9:11

    Crikey these mornings are a killer waking up boiling hot pheeew shower time for me



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    Mcqueen
     
     

    England Male Posts : 24704
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 63
    Location : England

    Re: we are here

    Post by Mcqueen on Tue 12 Aug 2014 - 9:27

    Tenerife Daryn, its hot    Aircon man should be round today, get a reciept   

     
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    Adam Mint
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 19339
    Join date : 2011-10-07
    Age : 52

    Re: we are here

    Post by Adam Mint on Tue 12 Aug 2014 - 13:48

    Showers, aircon,,, Daryn your doing something wrong, now when you get up follow these simple instructions:-

    1. Lie on sunbed on terrace.
    2. Drink beer.
    3. Dip in pool.

    Note, make sure sunbed/blind are positioned as to keep your head and beer in the shade.

    Now repeat the process ever ten to fifteen minutes, sunbed, beer, pool, sunbed, beer, pool, got it, worked perfect for me...

    Remember:-

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