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    Fifty Sheds of Grey

    Gypsy
    Gypsy
     
     

    Spain Female Posts : 12665
    Join date : 2011-08-14

    Fifty Sheds of Grey  Empty Fifty Sheds of Grey

    Post by Gypsy on Wed 30 Jul 2014 - 21:18

    If Fifty Shades Of Grey Was Written By A Man

    1. At the touch of her lips, it grew long and swollen. I sighed as she squeezed and pulled expertly. It was the best balloon giraffe I'd seen.

    2. Staring at her naked body, I asked what she wanted. She told me to go for something between a smack and a stroke. So I went for a smoke.

    3. 'How do you feel about using toys in the bedroom?' she asked. 'Fine,' I said, 'But I can't see how we're going to fit a Scalextric in here.'

    4. Her body tensed and quivered as she felt wave after wave flow through it. I probably should've told her about the new electric fence.

    5. As I lay there on the floor, my naked body covered in treacle and whipped cream, I heard those inevitable words . . . 'Clean up on aisle 3.'

    6. Frantically I tore off her dress, bra and knickers. My heart was racing but I just managed to close the wardrobe door before she got home.

    7. She leant over the kitchen table. 'Smack that bottom,' she squealed, 'Smack it hard!' 'I am,' I said, 'But the ketchup just won't come out.'

    8. Her body trembled and shook.'I can't wait any longer, do it now!' she cried. 'OK,' I said and got the winter duvet from the airing cupboard.

    9. 'Stick it right up there,' she said, 'I want to remember this!' I did, then I patted it firmly. You can't be too careful with Post-it notes.

    10. 'I want it against this wall!' she ordered, 'Don't worry,' I said, 'I know how to put up a shelf.'
    Mcqueen
    Mcqueen
     
     

    England Male Posts : 28723
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 65
    Location : England

    Fifty Sheds of Grey  Empty Re: Fifty Sheds of Grey

    Post by Mcqueen on Wed 30 Jul 2014 - 21:57

    Fifty Sheds of Grey  2485877773 Well funny and true  Fifty Sheds of Grey  755705644
    Topdog
    Topdog
     
     

    England Male Posts : 21257
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 60
    Location : England

    Fifty Sheds of Grey  Empty Re: Fifty Sheds of Grey

    Post by Topdog on Wed 30 Jul 2014 - 22:28

    fifty grades of sheyte...nice one M.
    Mermaid
    Mermaid
     
     

    Scotland Female Posts : 9818
    Join date : 2011-08-14
    Location : Scotland

    Fifty Sheds of Grey  Empty Re: Fifty Sheds of Grey

    Post by Mermaid on Thu 31 Jul 2014 - 12:29

    I am in fits of laughing here. Gypsy you ave made my day Fifty Sheds of Grey  2485877773  Fifty Sheds of Grey  2485877773  Fifty Sheds of Grey  2485877773  Fifty Sheds of Grey  2485877773  Fifty Sheds of Grey  2485877773  Fifty Sheds of Grey  2485877773  Fifty Sheds of Grey  2485877773  Fifty Sheds of Grey  2485877773  Fifty Sheds of Grey  2485877773  Fifty Sheds of Grey  2485877773



    Live life to the full now or it could be too late
    Campbell Brodie
    Campbell Brodie
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 50350
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 64
    Location : Scotland

    Fifty Sheds of Grey  Empty Re: Fifty Sheds of Grey

    Post by Campbell Brodie on Thu 31 Jul 2014 - 17:35

    Any men read it? I haven't... Fifty Sheds of Grey  1003453391



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    Perfectspecimen
    Perfectspecimen
     
     

    Liechtenstein Male Posts : 13703
    Join date : 2011-08-15
    Age : 65
    Location : Cambs / Golf del Sur

    Fifty Sheds of Grey  Empty Re: Fifty Sheds of Grey

    Post by Perfectspecimen on Thu 31 Jul 2014 - 17:59

    Takes longer to read than sex Cam. Interesting program about sexually transmitted diseases in Manchester on the box last night, stick to the beer Minty!  Fifty Sheds of Grey  2419626307



    Adventure before dementia!!! Fifty Sheds of Grey  294053457
    Adam Mint
    Adam Mint
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 21575
    Join date : 2011-10-07
    Age : 54

    Fifty Sheds of Grey  Empty Re: Fifty Sheds of Grey

    Post by Adam Mint on Fri 1 Aug 2014 - 2:36

    Been there done it, they don't give you a t-shirt...

    Got a funny story about me and a hooker that also involved a TV program....

    Cash and PM's only.............
    Topdog
    Topdog
     
     

    England Male Posts : 21257
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 60
    Location : England

    Fifty Sheds of Grey  Empty Re: Fifty Sheds of Grey

    Post by Topdog on Fri 1 Aug 2014 - 8:47

    Minty been kipping with Rugby players

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