What a pair of Muppets...

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-north-east-orkney-shetland-27514632

Extract from the article:-

"The pair lost their way in fog about half a mile off shore, and ran off course when their compass stopped working."

Someone switch off magnetic north then...

 

Compasses, workmates told me this one.

He's on a seaside day trip with the wife, in a souvenir shop he fancies a compass for the car, picks up one thats on display, wife says to him I'll get you it as a present, she heads of to pay for it, he tells her to ask the shop assistant to either put a new battery in it or get one that's not been on display......

Seemingly the shop assistant just stared at her in disbelief for a few seconds, then informed her no battery required...

Women...

  

  You know how to treat a woman