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    Vincents Ark

    Perfectspecimen
    Perfectspecimen
     
     

    Liechtenstein Male Posts : 13920
    Join date : 2011-08-15
    Age : 65
    Location : Cambs / Golf del Sur

    Vincents Ark Empty Vincents Ark

    Post by Perfectspecimen on Fri 14 Feb 2014 - 16:17

    Oh dear, as yet another storm approaches I have been wondering what I can do to help the situation. My mind goes back to storys of Noahs Ark I heard in my childhood. Now Noah in his wisdom decided he would save all the animals two by two but what about the humans? Dont they matter? 
    Now it just so happens that I own a boat that spends 99% of its time tied up to a pontoon in Wisbech Marina so I thought I should press it into service to try to rescue multi-cultural Britain. Just imagine if all we have left after the great flood is just a few Scots and Welsh who have managed to scramble up a mountain the old gene-pool is going to be somewhat depleted. Seeing as its only 30 foot long I will have to be fussy about who can actually fit on board, (unlike Noah I dont have divine intervention). So the Great Plan then is to get one black girl, (Rusty Lee off last nights Benidorm will do, ha ha ha). An exotic Indian girl and of course one from Ting-tong land. An Eskimo (Bjork will do, I need a laugh) and naturally a nice Anglo-Saxon bird with blond hair and blue eyes (wink wink). I wont need a Pole as I already have one on board holding up the mast in the centre of the cabin. This can obviously become a dancing aid to stop me and the girls getting bored. After 40 days and 40 nights of course all the birds will become impregnated by Captain Vince so multi-cultural Britain will be saved from doom. In Fenland where I live we dont have any hills except the Isle of Ely so when the floods subside and it reappears I will make it the new Capitol of Britain and turn the silly Cathedral into my Palace. A few cows and sheep will no doubt survive on the hilltops of Scotland and Wales so all will be hunky-dory and life as we know it can continue for a thousand years.........

     Vincents Ark 294053457



    Adventure before dementia!!! Vincents Ark 294053457
    Adam Mint
    Adam Mint
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 21993
    Join date : 2011-10-07
    Age : 55

    Vincents Ark Empty Re: Vincents Ark

    Post by Adam Mint on Fri 14 Feb 2014 - 16:26

    Drinking early today are we...
    Perfectspecimen
    Perfectspecimen
     
     

    Liechtenstein Male Posts : 13920
    Join date : 2011-08-15
    Age : 65
    Location : Cambs / Golf del Sur

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    Post by Perfectspecimen on Fri 14 Feb 2014 - 16:31

    Good idea.  Vincents Ark 3318427985



    Adventure before dementia!!! Vincents Ark 294053457
    3rdforum
    3rdforum
     
     

    Ireland Male Posts : 22242
    Join date : 2011-08-30
    Age : 49
    Location : Ireland

    Vincents Ark Empty Re: Vincents Ark

    Post by 3rdforum on Fri 14 Feb 2014 - 16:44

    Perfectspecimen wrote:Oh dear, as yet another storm approaches I have been wondering what I can do to help the situation. My mind goes back to storys of Noahs Ark I heard in my childhood. Now Noah in his wisdom decided he would save all the animals two by two but what about the humans? Dont they matter? 
    Now it just so happens that I own a boat that spends 99% of its time tied up to a pontoon in Wisbech Marina so I thought I should press it into service to try to rescue multi-cultural Britain. Just imagine if all we have left after the great flood is just a few Scots and Welsh who have managed to scramble up a mountain the old gene-pool is going to be somewhat depleted. Seeing as its only 30 foot long I will have to be fussy about who can actually fit on board, (unlike Noah I dont have divine intervention). So the Great Plan then is to get one black girl, (Rusty Lee off last nights Benidorm will do, ha ha ha). An exotic Indian girl and of course one from Ting-tong land. An Eskimo (Bjork will do, I need a laugh) and naturally a nice Anglo-Saxon bird with blond hair and blue eyes (wink wink). I wont need a Pole as I already have one on board holding up the mast in the centre of the cabin. This can obviously become a dancing aid to stop me and the girls getting bored. After 40 days and 40 nights of course all the birds will become impregnated by Captain Vince so multi-cultural Britain will be saved from doom. In Fenland where I live we dont have any hills except the Isle of Ely so when the floods subside and it reappears I will make it the new Capitol of Britain and turn the silly Cathedral into my Palace. A few cows and sheep will no doubt survive on the hilltops of Scotland and Wales so all will be hunky-dory and life as we know it can continue for a thousand years.........

     Vincents Ark 294053457
     Vincents Ark 2485877773  Vincents Ark 2485877773  Vincents Ark 2485877773  sorted






    Mcqueen
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    England Male Posts : 29275
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    Post by Mcqueen on Fri 14 Feb 2014 - 16:45

    What you smoking Vince  Vincents Ark 261529319 
    Perfectspecimen
    Perfectspecimen
     
     

    Liechtenstein Male Posts : 13920
    Join date : 2011-08-15
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    Post by Perfectspecimen on Fri 14 Feb 2014 - 16:54

    Mcqueen wrote:What you smoking Vince  Vincents Ark 261529319 
    Nah, nowt like that. Must be the boredom caused by the weather and bugger all to do. 60mph winds by daybreak tomorrow we are getting, Jeez. 
    Noticed that the jetstream is dipping right down to the Canaries at the weekend, that might drag some shite in for them too.



    Adventure before dementia!!! Vincents Ark 294053457
    Gypsy
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    Spain Female Posts : 12665
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    Post by Gypsy on Fri 14 Feb 2014 - 17:12

    Loved it  Vincents Ark 3025408739 
    Mermaid
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    Scotland Female Posts : 10052
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    Post by Mermaid on Fri 14 Feb 2014 - 17:24

    well perfectS has made me laugh. I loved you post. Vincents Ark 3318427985



    Live life to the full now or it could be too late
    Perfectspecimen
    Perfectspecimen
     
     

    Liechtenstein Male Posts : 13920
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    Post by Perfectspecimen on Fri 14 Feb 2014 - 17:33

    Pleased you all liked it. No doubt someone will be along later complaining about my overt 1970s style racism. Or perhaps my ridiculing of the bible. 
    Go on, make my day..........



    Adventure before dementia!!! Vincents Ark 294053457
    Gypsy
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    Spain Female Posts : 12665
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    Post by Gypsy on Fri 14 Feb 2014 - 17:41

    They've not been around for ages I think the fact that we saw their abuse reports as ridiculous finally got through to them.

    Now once you have moored your ark, I assume you will sail it to warmer climes such as Tenerife, will you take your harem and find them a few caravans that you can park somewhere near Yellas thereby giving the area a bit of much needed class.

    Oops didn´t someone once get banned from somewhere for suggesting something along those lines.
    Topdog
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    England Male Posts : 21257
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    Age : 60
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    Vincents Ark Empty Re: Vincents Ark

    Post by Topdog on Fri 14 Feb 2014 - 17:48

    You racist twat, more dark than white totty. Nice one Mince, just one problem, stiffness
    Perfectspecimen
    Perfectspecimen
     
     

    Liechtenstein Male Posts : 13920
    Join date : 2011-08-15
    Age : 65
    Location : Cambs / Golf del Sur

    Vincents Ark Empty Re: Vincents Ark

    Post by Perfectspecimen on Fri 14 Feb 2014 - 17:51

    Yeah, Rusty Lee and Bjork might be a problem, never mind.



    Adventure before dementia!!! Vincents Ark 294053457
    Topdog
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    England Male Posts : 21257
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    Post by Topdog on Fri 14 Feb 2014 - 17:54

    If you are knocking rusty, put the light out, you will burn your arse on the bulb
    Adam Mint
    Adam Mint
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 21993
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    Age : 55

    Vincents Ark Empty Re: Vincents Ark

    Post by Adam Mint on Fri 14 Feb 2014 - 17:54

    That Rusty Lee, you know what they done to that giraffe with the gene problem, well..........


    Last edited by Adam Mint on Fri 14 Feb 2014 - 17:55; edited 1 time in total
    Perfectspecimen
    Perfectspecimen
     
     

    Liechtenstein Male Posts : 13920
    Join date : 2011-08-15
    Age : 65
    Location : Cambs / Golf del Sur

    Vincents Ark Empty Re: Vincents Ark

    Post by Perfectspecimen on Fri 14 Feb 2014 - 17:55

    Gypsy wrote:They've not been around for ages I think the fact that we saw their abuse reports as ridiculous finally got through to them.  

    Now once you have moored your ark, I assume you will sail it to warmer climes such as Tenerife, will you take your harem and find them a few caravans that you can park somewhere near Yellas thereby giving the area a bit of much needed class.

    Oops didn´t someone once get banned from somewhere for suggesting something along those lines.
    Needless to say I didnt bother posting it there. People would be queueing up to give me a battering. I have recently been described there as 'One of the fools'. So be it.  Vincents Ark 3025408739



    Adventure before dementia!!! Vincents Ark 294053457
    Perfectspecimen
    Perfectspecimen
     
     

    Liechtenstein Male Posts : 13920
    Join date : 2011-08-15
    Age : 65
    Location : Cambs / Golf del Sur

    Vincents Ark Empty Re: Vincents Ark

    Post by Perfectspecimen on Fri 14 Feb 2014 - 18:00

    Topdog wrote:If you are knocking rusty, put the light out, you will burn your arse on the bulb
     
    Loved it last night when she turned up on Benidorm. And Joan Collins too, smoking in a public place.  Vincents Ark 3025408739 
    Get some NUTS!



    Adventure before dementia!!! Vincents Ark 294053457
    Topdog
    Topdog
     
     

    England Male Posts : 21257
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    Post by Topdog on Fri 14 Feb 2014 - 18:02

    Code:

    i
    II like both of them
    Adam Mint
    Adam Mint
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 21993
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    Post by Adam Mint on Fri 14 Feb 2014 - 18:03

    mmmm, that's different...
    Adam Mint
    Adam Mint
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 21993
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    Post by Adam Mint on Fri 14 Feb 2014 - 18:08

    Just googled Joan Colin's. The Stud, yes, just googled images of Rusty Lee, no...
    Perfectspecimen
    Perfectspecimen
     
     

    Liechtenstein Male Posts : 13920
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    Post by Perfectspecimen on Fri 14 Feb 2014 - 18:11

    All tongue in cheek mate........Mine I mean.  Vincents Ark 2419626307



    Adventure before dementia!!! Vincents Ark 294053457
    Adam Mint
    Adam Mint
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 21993
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    Age : 55

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    Post by Adam Mint on Fri 14 Feb 2014 - 18:21

    You put your tongue in that Rusty Lees cheeks, I doubt you'd ever see it or your head again...
    Perfectspecimen
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    Liechtenstein Male Posts : 13920
    Join date : 2011-08-15
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    Post by Perfectspecimen on Fri 14 Feb 2014 - 18:26

    Its her laugh that does it, have you seen the size of gob on some of those black birds? Jeez.  Vincents Ark 3025408739



    Adventure before dementia!!! Vincents Ark 294053457
    Topdog
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    England Male Posts : 21257
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    Post by Topdog on Fri 14 Feb 2014 - 18:33

    Rusty is infectious
    Campbell Brodie
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    Scotland Male Posts : 53116
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    Post by Campbell Brodie on Fri 14 Feb 2014 - 18:34

    Tetanus innit...



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    3rdforum
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    Ireland Male Posts : 22242
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    Vincents Ark Empty Re: Vincents Ark

    Post by 3rdforum on Fri 14 Feb 2014 - 18:38

    I never heard of her. Just googled her, she looks like a big Joan Armatrading







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