Paddy decides to take up boxing and goes for the required medical.
A few days later the doctor 'phones and says "Paddy, you realise you've got sugar diabetes."
Paddy says, "Nice one, when do I fight him?"
A Muslim has been shot in the head with a starting pistol; police say it's definitely race related...
Due to a water shortage in Ireland, Dublin swimming baths have announced they are closing lanes 7 and 8....
I got a letter from Screw Fix Direct thanking me for my interest, but explaining they were not a dating agency...!!!!
Paddy thought his new girlfriend might be the one but after looking through her knicker drawer and finding a nurse's outfit, a French maid's outfit, and a police woman's uniform, he finally decided if she can't hold down a job, she's not for him!!!
After 100 years lying on the sea bed, Irish divers were amazed to find that the Titanic's swimming pool was still full!
For me, this is the funniest
In hindsight I should have posted my Facebook status as: "I've blown the head gasket on my 1997 XR3i" rather than
"I've just buggered a 14 year old escort"!!!
The police still haven't seen the funny side, my laptop's been confiscated, and the wife has gone off to her mother.