The house I wish to sell
I told him it just needs to go
I'm sure that he could tell........
He told me that he thinks its worth
Two Hundred grand and more
So on it goes at threshold price
I think he knows the score.
I hope the punters that turn up
Are blind and not too savvy
Some woodchip on the walls you see
And ceilings rather shabby.
Uneven floors I have throughout
The draught comes through the doors
Just hope they turn up very drunk
So they dont see the flaws.
The patterned carpets on the floor
Dont help to make 'the look'
And the kitchen with the broken tiles
Wont make them want to cook.
He said make coffee and bake bread
To help disguise the smell
Of teenage boys, stale nicotine
And a fecking dog as well.
I hope it doesn't rain too much
The drains will overflow
Drawing attention to the fact
The land is very low.
And even if the sun is out
It wont help much at all
Just makes it even easier
To spot the cracks within the wall.
Five bedrooms it does have however
Two en-suites as well
And a granny annexe too to house
The mother in law from hell.
I wish I could take it with me
To Tenerife by sea
But the feckers at the other end
Will slap on some Duty
So such is life the Autumns coming
Hope someone buys my pad
The thought of spending Winter here
Just makes me feel so SAD.