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    Pregnant Prostitute

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    Adam Mint
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 19639
    Join date : 2011-10-07
    Age : 52

    Re: Pregnant Prostitute

    Post by Adam Mint on Fri 27 Sep 2013 - 16:19

    Once there was this guy from Glasgow who took a vacation to Aberdeen. While there, he met up with a prostitute.     He got down & dirty with her.    Afterwards, the prostitute said: "£100 pounds."     The guy said: "No, here is £200."    The prostitute responded: "You're so kind."     Some days pass, and the guy met up with the same prostitute again and had sex again.    The prostitute asked for £100, but the guy again says: "No, here's £200."    The prostitute says: "You're so kind."    More days pass, and the guy met up with the prostitute one last time to have sex.     The prostitute says: "£100, please."    The guy slaps her and hands her £200.    The prostitute says: " you're so kind. Where are you from?"     Guy says: "I'm from Glasgow."    The prostitute says: "I am from there too."     The guy says: "I know, your mum sent me to give you £600"...
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    Gypsy
     
     

    Spain Female Posts : 12409
    Join date : 2011-08-14

    Re: Pregnant Prostitute

    Post by Gypsy on Fri 27 Sep 2013 - 16:54

    Silly boy he could have visited twice as as many times!!
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    Adam Mint
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 19639
    Join date : 2011-10-07
    Age : 52

    Re: Pregnant Prostitute

    Post by Adam Mint on Fri 27 Sep 2013 - 16:56

    As you said, us Scots ain't tight...
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    Adam Mint
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 19639
    Join date : 2011-10-07
    Age : 52

    Re: Pregnant Prostitute

    Post by Adam Mint on Tue 1 Oct 2013 - 16:33

    Why is Parliament like a whore's dream?

    Its full of pricks...
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    Adam Mint
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 19639
    Join date : 2011-10-07
    Age : 52

    Re: Pregnant Prostitute

    Post by Adam Mint on Fri 4 Oct 2013 - 14:56

    Why do prostitutes wear knickers?

    To keep their ankles warm...
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    Perfectspecimen
     
     

    Liechtenstein Male Posts : 13320
    Join date : 2011-08-15
    Age : 63
    Location : Cambs / Golf del Sur

    Re: Pregnant Prostitute

    Post by Perfectspecimen on Fri 4 Oct 2013 - 16:35

    Adam Mint wrote:Why do prostitutes wear knickers?

    To keep their ankles warm...
     
    Now far be it for me to complain but this is an Essex girl joke, or even a blonde joke.......
    I bet the birds who read this think we are real quality guys.......



    Adventure before dementia!!!
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    Mcqueen
     
     

    England Male Posts : 24972
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 63
    Location : England

    Re: Pregnant Prostitute

    Post by Mcqueen on Fri 4 Oct 2013 - 16:38

    Dont think we have any women left Vince, We scared them all off, Howard did the most  
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    Perfectspecimen
     
     

    Liechtenstein Male Posts : 13320
    Join date : 2011-08-15
    Age : 63
    Location : Cambs / Golf del Sur

    Re: Pregnant Prostitute

    Post by Perfectspecimen on Fri 4 Oct 2013 - 17:21

    Howards got a sore head. He found a Witherspoons doing Guinness for £1.50 a pint. 



    Adventure before dementia!!!
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    Gypsy
     
     

    Spain Female Posts : 12409
    Join date : 2011-08-14

    Re: Pregnant Prostitute

    Post by Gypsy on Fri 4 Oct 2013 - 18:09

    Mcqueen wrote:Dont think we have any women left Vince, We scared them all off, Howard did the most  
    OK that is Me and Mermaid out of here
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    Mcqueen
     
     

    England Male Posts : 24972
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 63
    Location : England

    Re: Pregnant Prostitute

    Post by Mcqueen on Fri 4 Oct 2013 - 18:16

       
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    Mermaid
     
     

    Scotland Female Posts : 8897
    Join date : 2011-08-14
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    Re: Pregnant Prostitute

    Post by Mermaid on Fri 4 Oct 2013 - 18:19

    Gypsy wrote:
    Mcqueen wrote:Dont think we have any women left Vince, We scared them all off, Howard did the most  
    OK that is Me and Mermaid out of here
    We must be invisible Gypsy.



    Live life to the full now or it could be too late
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    Perfectspecimen
     
     

    Liechtenstein Male Posts : 13320
    Join date : 2011-08-15
    Age : 63
    Location : Cambs / Golf del Sur

    Re: Pregnant Prostitute

    Post by Perfectspecimen on Fri 4 Oct 2013 - 20:14

    Just like the attention thats why you stay, anyway, we need to be kept under control or the thought police will be round.



    Adventure before dementia!!!
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    Adam Mint
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 19639
    Join date : 2011-10-07
    Age : 52

    Re: Pregnant Prostitute

    Post by Adam Mint on Sun 6 Oct 2013 - 23:14

    Which is more profitable, a two storey or a one storey whore house?

    A one storey because there's no fu#king overheads...

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    Adam Mint
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 19639
    Join date : 2011-10-07
    Age : 52

    Re: Pregnant Prostitute

    Post by Adam Mint on Mon 7 Oct 2013 - 12:38

    What's the definition of a complete and utter failure?



    A pregnant whore...
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    Adam Mint
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 19639
    Join date : 2011-10-07
    Age : 52

    Re: Pregnant Prostitute

    Post by Adam Mint on Tue 8 Oct 2013 - 14:29

    What do you call kids born in whorehouses?

    Brothel sprouts...
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    searcher
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 6283
    Join date : 2012-09-18
    Age : 73
    Location : edinburgh

    Re: Pregnant Prostitute

    Post by searcher on Tue 8 Oct 2013 - 15:14

    Often wondered how prostitutes made any money as they are always on short time
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    Adam Mint
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 19639
    Join date : 2011-10-07
    Age : 52

    Re: Pregnant Prostitute

    Post by Adam Mint on Thu 10 Oct 2013 - 13:46

    Cop to a hooker: "What would your mother do if she saw you doing this?"

    "She'd kill me... It's her corner"...
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    Adam Mint
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 19639
    Join date : 2011-10-07
    Age : 52

    Re: Pregnant Prostitute

    Post by Adam Mint on Sat 12 Oct 2013 - 14:23

    A man walked into a whorehouse and picked out his date for the night. He was feeling extra frisky so he decided to go down on her. After a minute or so he notices a spaghetti noodle in her cooter. He decides to let it go and continues for a while and then pulls out half of a meatball. He looks up and yells "Damn bitch are you sick?" She says "no but the guy before you was"...
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    Mcqueen
     
     

    England Male Posts : 24972
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 63
    Location : England

    Re: Pregnant Prostitute

    Post by Mcqueen on Sat 12 Oct 2013 - 15:15

      :Not me Guv: 
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    Adam Mint
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 19639
    Join date : 2011-10-07
    Age : 52

    Re: Pregnant Prostitute

    Post by Adam Mint on Sun 13 Oct 2013 - 16:02

    Hear about the hooker that had a 18 stone customer?


    She was pressed for cash...
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    Adam Mint
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 19639
    Join date : 2011-10-07
    Age : 52

    Re: Pregnant Prostitute

    Post by Adam Mint on Mon 14 Oct 2013 - 12:54

    What do you get when you cross a prostitute with a computer?



    A fu#king know it all...
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    Adam Mint
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 19639
    Join date : 2011-10-07
    Age : 52

    Re: Pregnant Prostitute

    Post by Adam Mint on Tue 15 Oct 2013 - 15:23

    What does a prostitue use for protection during sex?

    A bus shelter...
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    Gypsy
     
     

    Spain Female Posts : 12409
    Join date : 2011-08-14

    Re: Pregnant Prostitute

    Post by Gypsy on Tue 15 Oct 2013 - 16:53

    Adam Mint wrote:What does a prostitue use for protection during sex?

    A bus shelter...
         That was funny
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    Adam Mint
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 19639
    Join date : 2011-10-07
    Age : 52

    Re: Pregnant Prostitute

    Post by Adam Mint on Fri 18 Oct 2013 - 16:42

    A German chap asks a prostitute for a shag and she tells him it's 50 euro. 'Fine' he says, 'but I'm a bit kinky.' She agrees that this is OK as long as he doesn't do anything violent.



    They get back to her flat and he gets out four big springs attached to some straps. 'I want




    you to put one of these on each elbow and one on each knee' he asks. The prostitute is worried that she's getting into something a bit heavy, but she goes along with his request.




    Then she is told to get down on all fours, naked, in front of him whom she does grudgingly.




    Then he asks her to start bouncing up and down on the springs and finally he takes a duck




    call whistle from his pocket. 'Blow on this while I am shagging you' he tells her. So he's banging away at her from behind while she's bouncing on the springs blowing the duck whistle. Suddenly she starts to enjoy the shagging, so much so in fact that she experiences the most fantastic orgasm she's ever had. After they've finished she says 'Wow, that was the most fantastic sex I've had in 25 years on the game, how the hell did you make it so good?'




    'Ah,' he replies, 'Foursprung Duck Technique'
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    Mcqueen
     
     

    England Male Posts : 24972
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 63
    Location : England

    Re: Pregnant Prostitute

    Post by Mcqueen on Fri 18 Oct 2013 - 16:52

     

      Current date/time is Mon 20 Nov 2017 - 19:02