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    Pregnant Prostitute

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    BobMac
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 503
    Join date : 2012-03-22
    Age : 70
    Location : Chelmsford

    Pregnant Prostitute

    Post by BobMac on Wed 11 Sep 2013 - 16:15

    Doctor asks  pregnant prostitute, "Do you know who the father is?"   

    "For gosh sake, if you ate a can of  beans would you know which one made you  fart?"



    avatar
    Adam Mint
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 18394
    Join date : 2011-10-07
    Age : 52

    Re: Pregnant Prostitute

    Post by Adam Mint on Wed 11 Sep 2013 - 16:21

    Two prostitutes were talking about how rough times were. 
    One said, "You know, times are so bad that I did a trick last night for a measly fiver, just so I had the taxi fare home!"
    "Huh," replied the other slag, "I gave away a blowjob last night just to get something warm in my stomach!"...
    avatar
    Mcqueen
     
     

    England Male Posts : 24039
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 63
    Location : England

    Re: Pregnant Prostitute

    Post by Mcqueen on Wed 11 Sep 2013 - 17:16

     
    avatar
    Adam Mint
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 18394
    Join date : 2011-10-07
    Age : 52

    Re: Pregnant Prostitute

    Post by Adam Mint on Wed 11 Sep 2013 - 17:22

    Oh, me thinks this threads got distance in it...

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    Adam Mint
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 18394
    Join date : 2011-10-07
    Age : 52

    Re: Pregnant Prostitute

    Post by Adam Mint on Fri 13 Sep 2013 - 16:25


    What does a prostitute have at the end of her shift?


    A box of assorted creams...
    avatar
    Gypsy
     
     

    Spain Female Posts : 12124
    Join date : 2011-08-14
    Age : 70

    Re: Pregnant Prostitute

    Post by Gypsy on Fri 13 Sep 2013 - 18:17

    Q: What do you call kids born in whorehouses?
    A: Brothel sprouts.

    Q: Why did the prostitute join the religious cult?
    A: She liked unprotected sects
    avatar
    Adam Mint
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 18394
    Join date : 2011-10-07
    Age : 52

    Re: Pregnant Prostitute

    Post by Adam Mint on Sat 14 Sep 2013 - 15:40

    What's the difference between a whore and a bowling ball? 

    You can't fit five fingers in a bowling ball...
    avatar
    Adam Mint
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 18394
    Join date : 2011-10-07
    Age : 52

    Re: Pregnant Prostitute

    Post by Adam Mint on Sun 15 Sep 2013 - 15:06

    Did you hear about the prostitute who was into bondage? 

    She was strapped for cash...
    avatar
    Adam Mint
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 18394
    Join date : 2011-10-07
    Age : 52

    Re: Pregnant Prostitute

    Post by Adam Mint on Mon 16 Sep 2013 - 14:01

    What do you call a Serbian prostitute?

    Sloberdown Mycockyoubitch...
    avatar
    BobMac
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 503
    Join date : 2012-03-22
    Age : 70
    Location : Chelmsford

    Re: Pregnant Prostitute

    Post by BobMac on Mon 16 Sep 2013 - 14:25

    What have I started here ????

    LOL



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    Topdog
     
     

    England Male Posts : 21171
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 57
    Location : England

    Re: Pregnant Prostitute

    Post by Topdog on Mon 16 Sep 2013 - 15:30

    Dyslexic Forklift driver applied for a job at a whorehouse.
    avatar
    BobMac
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 503
    Join date : 2012-03-22
    Age : 70
    Location : Chelmsford

    Re: Pregnant Prostitute

    Post by BobMac on Mon 16 Sep 2013 - 17:48

    Topdog wrote:Dyslexic Forklift driver applied for a job at a whorehouse.
    In days of yore, there was a Word Processor called Wordperfect and if you mistyped Warehouse, Whorehouse was the only word it knew in it's spellchecker !!



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    Adam Mint
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 18394
    Join date : 2011-10-07
    Age : 52

    Re: Pregnant Prostitute

    Post by Adam Mint on Tue 17 Sep 2013 - 16:22

    How do you make a hormone? 

    Kick her in the stomach...
    avatar
    Adam Mint
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 18394
    Join date : 2011-10-07
    Age : 52

    Re: Pregnant Prostitute

    Post by Adam Mint on Wed 18 Sep 2013 - 12:33

    What do you get if you cross a prostitute with an elephant?

    A whore who fu#ks you for peanuts and remembers you forever...
    avatar
    Adam Mint
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 18394
    Join date : 2011-10-07
    Age : 52

    Re: Pregnant Prostitute

    Post by Adam Mint on Thu 19 Sep 2013 - 14:55

    Did you hear about the German prostitute who asked to be paid in marks instead of sterling! 

    They all gave her six out of ten...
    avatar
    Topdog
     
     

    England Male Posts : 21171
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 57
    Location : England

    Re: Pregnant Prostitute

    Post by Topdog on Thu 19 Sep 2013 - 15:03

    German Prozzy who used to tie a spring to her hands and feet and bounce around, whilst the client sorted her Doggy fashion. VORSPRUNG DURCH TECHNIK
    avatar
    Adam Mint
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 18394
    Join date : 2011-10-07
    Age : 52

    Re: Pregnant Prostitute

    Post by Adam Mint on Fri 20 Sep 2013 - 16:50

    What's the difference between a hooker and a lawyer? 

    A hooker will stop screwing you when your dead...
    avatar
    Adam Mint
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 18394
    Join date : 2011-10-07
    Age : 52

    Re: Pregnant Prostitute

    Post by Adam Mint on Sun 22 Sep 2013 - 10:23

    A guy had never had sex before, so his buddies set him up with this whore for a couple of hours. He really had no clue, and when she sat down on the bed completely naked, she said, "Do you know what I want?"

    He looked at her and said, "No!"

    The whore then lay down on the bed and started to rub her breasts and moaning she said, "Do you know what I want now?"

    The guy replied, "No!"

    The whore then spread her legs wide and started to play with herself then said, "Now do you know what I want?"

    "Yeah," replied the guy, "You want the whole fu#king bed to yourself"...
    avatar
    Adam Mint
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 18394
    Join date : 2011-10-07
    Age : 52

    Re: Pregnant Prostitute

    Post by Adam Mint on Mon 23 Sep 2013 - 15:20

    What do you call an Italian hooker?

    A pastatute...
    avatar
    Adam Mint
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 18394
    Join date : 2011-10-07
    Age : 52

    Re: Pregnant Prostitute

    Post by Adam Mint on Tue 24 Sep 2013 - 14:20

    What's the difference between a drug pusher and a prostitute? 

    A prostitute can wash her crack and sell it again...
    avatar
    Adam Mint
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 18394
    Join date : 2011-10-07
    Age : 52

    Re: Pregnant Prostitute

    Post by Adam Mint on Wed 25 Sep 2013 - 17:47

    What do you call a prostitue with a runny nose.

    Full...
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    Adam Mint
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 18394
    Join date : 2011-10-07
    Age : 52

    Re: Pregnant Prostitute

    Post by Adam Mint on Thu 26 Sep 2013 - 14:30

    An Irish daughter had not been home for years. Upon her return, her Father cussed her. 'Where have ye been all this time? Why did ye not write to us, not even a line? Why didn't ye call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer old Mother thru?' 

    The girl, crying, replied, 'Sniff, sniff....Dad....I became a prostitute...' 

    Ye what!!? Out of here, ye shameless harlot! Sinner! You're a disgrace to this Catholic family.' 

    'OK, Dad-- as ye wish. I just came back to give mum this luxurious fur coat, title deed to a ten bedroom mansion plus a £5 million savings certificate. For me little brother, this gold Rolex. And for ye Daddy, the sparkling new Mercedes limited edition convertible that's parked outside plus a membership to the country club.....(takes a breath).....and an invitation for ye all to spend New Years Eve on board my new yacht in the Riviera and... .' 

    'Now what was it ye said ye had become?' says Dad. 

    Girl, crying again, 'Sniff, sniff....a prostitute Daddy! Sniff, sniff.' 

    'Oh! Be Jesus! Ye scared me half to death, girl! I thought ye said a Protestant. Come here and give yer old Dad a hug...
    avatar
    Mcqueen
     
     

    England Male Posts : 24039
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 63
    Location : England

    Re: Pregnant Prostitute

    Post by Mcqueen on Thu 26 Sep 2013 - 14:42

    Sure this was on here a bit ago ? or is it me :puzzled: 
    avatar
    Adam Mint
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 18394
    Join date : 2011-10-07
    Age : 52

    Re: Pregnant Prostitute

    Post by Adam Mint on Thu 26 Sep 2013 - 15:07

    OK take two...

    What does the sign say on the brothel door say when it's shut...

    Beat it, we're closed...
    avatar
    Campbell Brodie
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 36279
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 62
    Location : Scotland

    Re: Pregnant Prostitute

    Post by Campbell Brodie on Thu 26 Sep 2013 - 16:07

    ...you can beat an egg...



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