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Tenerife's Forum of Fun

A place for visitors and residents to share experiences and have fun at the same time.

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    cat got your ?

    Mermaid
    Mermaid
     
     

    Scotland Female Posts : 10144
    Join date : 2011-08-14
    Location : Scotland

    cat got your ? Empty cat got your ?

    Post by Mermaid on Tue 20 Sep 2011 - 13:54

    We've all had trouble
    with our animals, but I don't think anyone can top this one
    :


    Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable. No
    matter how legitimate my excuse, I always get the feeling that my boss thinks
    I'm lying...

    On one recent occasion, I had a valid reason
    but lied anyway, because the truth was just too darned humiliating. I simply
    mentioned that I had sustained a head injury, and I hoped I would feel up to
    coming in the next day. By then, I reasoned, I could think up a doozy to
    explain the bandage on the top of my head. The accident occurred mainly
    because I had given in to my wife's wishes to adopt a cute little
    kitty.
    Initially, the new
    acquisition was no problem.

    Then one morning, I
    was taking my shower after breakfast when I heard my wife, Deb, call out to me
    from the kitchen .


    'Honey !
    The garbage disposal is dead again. Please come reset it
    ..'

    'You know where the button is,' I protested through
    the shower pitter-patter and steam. 'Reset it yourself
    !'

    'But I'm scared !' she persisted. 'What if it starts
    going and sucks me in ?'

    There was a meaningful pause and
    then, 'C'mon, it'll only take you a second.'

    So out I
    came, dripping wet and butt naked, hoping that my silent outraged nudity would
    make a statement about how I perceived her behaviour as extremely
    cowardly.

    Sighing loudly, I squatted down and stuck my
    head under the sink to find the button. It is the last action I remember
    performing. It struck without warning, and without any respect to my
    circumstances. No, it wasn't the hexed disposal, drawing me into its gnashing
    metal teeth. It was our new kitty, who discovered the fascinating dangling
    objects she spied hanging between my legs. She had been poised around the
    corner and stalked me as I reached under the sink. And, at the precise moment
    when I was most vulnerable, she leapt at the toys I unwittingly offered and
    snagged them with her needle-like claws. I lost all rational thought to
    control orderly bodily movements, blindly rising at a violent rate of speed,
    with the full weight of a kitten hanging from my masculine
    region.

    Wild animals are sometimes faced with a 'fight
    or flight' syndrome. Men, in this predicament, choose only the 'flight'
    option; I know this from experience. I was fleeing straight up into the air
    when the sink and cabinet bluntly and forcefully impeded my ascent. The impact
    knocked me out cold..

    When I awoke, my wife and the
    paramedics stood over me.

    Now there are not many things
    in this life worse than finding oneself lying on the kitchen floor butt naked
    in front of a group of 'been-there, done-that' paramedics. Even worse, having
    been fully briefed by my wife, the paramedics were all snorting loudly as they
    tried to conduct their work, all the while trying to suppress their hysterical
    laughter......and not succeeding.

    Somehow I lived through
    it all. A few days later I finally made it back in to the office, where
    colleagues tried to coax an explanation out of me about my head injury. I kept
    silent, claiming it was too painful to talk about, which it
    was.

    'What's the matter ?' They all asked,
    'Cat got your tongue ?'
    If they only knew



















    Live life to the full now or it could be too late
    Gypsy
    Gypsy
     
     

    Spain Female Posts : 12665
    Join date : 2011-08-14

    cat got your ? Empty Re: cat got your ?

    Post by Gypsy on Tue 20 Sep 2011 - 15:05

    So very very funny it had me laughing out loud - I could visualise it too - gosh bet smarts 🤣 🤣
    Mischief Maker
    Mischief Maker
     
     

    Scotland Female Posts : 896
    Join date : 2011-08-24
    Age : 36
    Location : Scotland

    cat got your ? Empty Re: cat got your ?

    Post by Mischief Maker on Tue 20 Sep 2011 - 20:43

    very funny indeed!
    on a related but far more serious note coincidentally my father in law had a similar predicament with paramedics at 5am this morning.
    he takes tablets for his blood pressure and took a turn - collapsing in the bathroom.
    poor bugger - lost control of his bodily functions all over my foot as i tried to let him down gently - dead weight and i managed to dunt his head off the bath.
    was still conscious and breathing but couldn't respond properly nor stand just grunting when i was talking to him - thought he'd had a stroke
    so glad mother in law came back from holiday yesterday - i'd have been all alone not having a clue what was going on
    in fact when he fell i ignored it cos heard her having a go at him falling over - wasn't until she shouted for help cos he was a dead weight that i realised there was something wrong

    then he comes to and tells me to cancel ambulance talking as though nothing had happened - not flipping likely i say, we need someone to take a look at you and they can decide what happens next

    checked blood pressure and sent him to bed
    seems better now but very scary
    i'll not be ignoring any noises in the night again - i feel so guilty
    if it had happened yesterday morning i may not have noticed til i got up at 7 cat got your ? 755705644
    Campbell Brodie
    Campbell Brodie
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 54634
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 65
    Location : Scotland

    cat got your ? Empty Re: cat got your ?

    Post by Campbell Brodie on Tue 20 Sep 2011 - 20:51

    Mischief Maker wrote:very funny indeed!
    on a related but far more serious note coincidentally my father in law had a similar predicament with paramedics at 5am this morning.
    he takes tablets for his blood pressure and took a turn - collapsing in the bathroom.
    poor bugger - lost control of his bodily functions all over my foot as i tried to let him down gently - dead weight and i managed to dunt his head off the bath.
    was still conscious and breathing but couldn't respond properly nor stand just grunting when i was talking to him - thought he'd had a stroke
    so glad mother in law came back from holiday yesterday - i'd have been all alone not having a clue what was going on
    in fact when he fell i ignored it cos heard her having a go at him falling over - wasn't until she shouted for help cos he was a dead weight that i realised there was something wrong

    then he comes to and tells me to cancel ambulance talking as though nothing had happened - not flipping likely i say, we need someone to take a look at you and they can decide what happens next

    checked blood pressure and sent him to bed
    seems better now but very scary
    i'll not be ignoring any noises in the night again - i feel so guilty
    if it had happened yesterday morning i may not have noticed til i got up at 7 cat got your ? 755705644
    I take it Brian was working? Bet you got a bloody fright!



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    Mischief Maker
    Mischief Maker
     
     

    Scotland Female Posts : 896
    Join date : 2011-08-24
    Age : 36
    Location : Scotland

    cat got your ? Empty Re: cat got your ?

    Post by Mischief Maker on Tue 20 Sep 2011 - 20:55

    couldn't stop shaking but was calm enough to talk to the emergency folk at least
    he was grey and breathing quite fast must have been scary for him too either not knowing what was going on or not being able to do anything about it
    then i had the kitten screaming to get out the room and she lifted the carpet under the door



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    Mermaid
    Mermaid
     
     

    Scotland Female Posts : 10144
    Join date : 2011-08-14
    Location : Scotland

    cat got your ? Empty Re: cat got your ?

    Post by Mermaid on Tue 20 Sep 2011 - 21:00

    Mischief Maker wrote:couldn't stop shaking but was calm enough to talk to the emergency folk at least
    he was grey and breathing quite fast must have been scary for him too either not knowing what was going on or not being able to do anything about it
    then i had the kitten screaming to get out the room and she lifted the carpet under the door

    Hopefully all is back to normal now then.



    Live life to the full now or it could be too late
    Topdog
    Topdog
     
     

    England Male Posts : 21257
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 60
    Location : England

    cat got your ? Empty Re: cat got your ?

    Post by Topdog on Tue 20 Sep 2011 - 21:00

    Hope all is good.
    Mischief Maker
    Mischief Maker
     
     

    Scotland Female Posts : 896
    Join date : 2011-08-24
    Age : 36
    Location : Scotland

    cat got your ? Empty Re: cat got your ?

    Post by Mischief Maker on Tue 20 Sep 2011 - 21:03

    a lot better thanks



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