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    Ireland declares war on France

    Gypsy
    Gypsy
     
     

    Spain Female Posts : 12662
    Join date : 2011-08-14

    Ireland declares war on France Empty Ireland declares war on France

    Post by Gypsy on Fri 14 Dec 2012 - 10:06

    The French President is sitting in his office when his telephone rings.

    'Hallo, Mr. Sarkozy!' a heavily accented voice said. 'This is Paddy down at the Harp Pub in County Clare, Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you! We voted to reject the Lisbon treaty!'

    'Well Paddy, Sarkozy replied. How big is your army?'

    'Right now,' says Paddy, after a moment's calculation, 'there is myself, me Cousin Sean, me next door neighbour Seamus, and the entire darts team from the pub. That makes eleven!'

    Sarkozy paused. 'I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100,000 men in my army waiting to move on my command.'

    'Begorra!' says Paddy. 'I'll have to ring you back.'

    Sure enough, the next day, Paddy calls again. 'Mr. Sarkozy, the war is still on. We have managed to get us some infantry equipment!'

    'And what equipment would that be Paddy?' Sarkozy asks.

    'Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Murphy's farm tractor.'

    Sarkozy sighs amused. 'I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 6,000 tanks and 5,000 armoured personnel carriers. Also, I have increased my army to 150,000 since we last spoke.'

    'Saints preserve us!' says Paddy. 'I'll have to get back to you.'

    Sure enough, Paddy rings again the next day. 'Mr. Sarkozy, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We have modified Jackie McLaughlin's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the Shamrock Bar have joined us as well!'

    Sarkozy was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. 'I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100 bombers and 200 fighter planes. My military bases are surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I have increased my army to 200,000!'

    'Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!' says Paddy, 'I will have to ring you back.'

    Sure enough, Paddy calls again the next day. 'Top o' the mornin', Mr. Sarkozy! I am sorry to inform you that we have had to call off the war.'

    'Really? I am sorry to hear that,' says Sarkozy. 'Why the sudden change of heart?'

    'Well,' says Paddy, 'we had a long chat over a few pints of Guinness and packets of crisps, and we decided there is no f****n' way we can feed 200,000 prisoners.'
    Campbell Brodie
    Campbell Brodie
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 56915
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 65
    Location : Scotland

    Ireland declares war on France Empty Re: Ireland declares war on France

    Post by Campbell Brodie on Fri 14 Dec 2012 - 21:42

    Ireland declares war on France 3025408739 Ireland declares war on France 3025408739 Ireland declares war on France 3025408739 Ireland declares war on France 3025408739



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    Topdog
    Topdog
     
     

    England Male Posts : 21279
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 61
    Location : England

    Ireland declares war on France Empty Re: Ireland declares war on France

    Post by Topdog on Fri 14 Dec 2012 - 21:46

    Ireland declares war on France 2485877773 Ireland declares war on France 2485877773
    3rdforum
    3rdforum
     
     

    Ireland Male Posts : 22788
    Join date : 2011-08-30
    Age : 50
    Location : Ireland

    Ireland declares war on France Empty Re: Ireland declares war on France

    Post by 3rdforum on Fri 14 Dec 2012 - 22:30

    Ireland declares war on France 3025408739 Ireland declares war on France 3025408739 Ireland declares war on France 3025408739 Finally, an Irish joke on this forum that doesn't make us out to be thickos.







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    Ireland declares war on France Empty Re: Ireland declares war on France

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