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    Getting Old


    Scotland Female Posts : 10373
    Join date : 2011-08-14
    Location : Scotland

    Getting Old Empty Getting Old

    Post by Mermaid on Sat 10 Sep 2011 - 0:17

    Scotch with two drops of water

    A lady goes to the bar on a cruise ship and orders a Scotch with two
    Drops of water. As the bartender gives her the drink she says,
    'I'm on this cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday and it's today..'
    The bartender says, 'Well, since it's your birthday, I'll buy you a
    drink. In fact, this one is on me..'

    As the woman finishes her drink, the woman to her right says, 'I
    Like to buy you a drink, too.'
    The old woman says, 'Thank you. Bartender, I want a Scotch with two
    Drops of water.'
    'Coming up,' says the bartender
    As she finishes that drink, the man to her left says, 'I would like
    Buy you one, too.'
    The old woman says, 'Thank you. Bartender, I want another Scotch with
    Two drops of water.'
    'Coming right up,' the bartender says.
    As he gives her the drink, he says, 'Ma'am, I'm dying of curiosity.
    Why The Scotch with only two drops of water?'

    The old woman replies, 'Sonny, when you're my age, you've learned how
    To hold your liquor.. Holding your water, however, is a whole other

    'OLD' IS WHEN....
    Your sweetie says, 'Let's go upstairs
    And make love,' and you answer,
    'Pick one; I can't do both!'

    'OLD' IS WHEN...
    Your friends compliment you
    On your new alligator shoes
    And you're barefoot..

    'OLD' IS WHEN...
    A sexy babe or hunk catches your fancy
    And your pacemaker opens the garage door.

    'OLD' IS WHEN...
    Going braless
    Pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.

    'OLD' IS WHEN....
    You don't care where your spouse goes,
    Just as long as you don't have to go along.

    'OLD' IS WHEN...
    You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police

    'OLD' IS WHEN...

    'Getting a little action'
    Means you don't need to take any fiber today.

    'OLD' IS WHEN...
    'Getting lucky' means you find your car
    In the parking lot.

    'OLD'IS WHEN...
    An 'all nighter' means not getting up
    To use the bathroom.


    'OLD' IS WHEN.....
    You are not sure these are jokes

    Live life to the full now or it could be too late

    Getting Old Empty Re: Getting Old

    Post by Guest on Sat 10 Sep 2011 - 9:23

    So true Mermaid I can relate to quite a few of those 'jokes' Getting Old 3025408739

      Current date/time is Mon 25 Jan 2021 - 3:51