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    Joining the church....

    Cruella de Vil
    Cruella de Vil
     
     

    Spain Female Posts : 3067
    Join date : 2011-08-22
    Age : 64
    Location : Somewhere in the Atlantic

    Joining the church.... Empty Joining the church....

    Post by Cruella de Vil on Tue 30 Oct 2012 - 18:08

    A young couple wanted to join the church.

    The pastor told them, "We have a special requirement for new member couples.
    You must abstain from sex for one whole month".

    The couple agreed, but after two-and-a-half weeks returned to the Church.
    When the Pastor ushered them into his office, the wife was crying and the
    husband was obviously very depressed.

    "You are back so soon, is there a problem?" the pastor inquired.

    "We are terribly ashamed to admit that we did not manage to abstain from sex
    for the required month." the young man replied sadly.The pastor asked him
    what happened.Well, the first week was difficult. However, we managed to
    abstain through sheer willpower."The second week was terrible, but with the
    use of prayer, we managed to abstain."

    However, the third week was unbearable. We tried cold showers,prayer,
    reading from the Bible, anything to keep our minds off carnal thoughts."

    One afternoon my wife reached for a can of beans and dropped it. When she
    bent over to pick it up, I was overcome with lust and I just had my way with
    her right then and there. It was lustful, loud, passionate sex. It lasted
    for over an hour and when we were done we were both drenched in sweat,"
    admitted the man, shamefacedly.

    The pastor lowered his head and said sternly, "You do understand this means
    you will not be welcome in our church?"

    We know" said the young man, hanging his head, "We're not welcome in Spar
    either."



    Joining the church.... Wool_zpse0f194b5
    Joining the church.... Models_zps03acd109
    Campbell Brodie
    Campbell Brodie
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 56753
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 65
    Location : Scotland

    Joining the church.... Empty Re: Joining the church....

    Post by Campbell Brodie on Tue 30 Oct 2012 - 18:14

    Joining the church.... 2485877773 Joining the church.... 2485877773



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    Topdog
    Topdog
     
     

    England Male Posts : 21277
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 61
    Location : England

    Joining the church.... Empty Re: Joining the church....

    Post by Topdog on Tue 30 Oct 2012 - 21:27

    ha ha weather
    Man was told on wedding day neither you or your wife are to have sex for one week after marriage, this includes touching your own or each others private parts.
    After one day man says we have been good and abstained. Next day man said, it got a bit much yesterday and we ended up passionately kissing. Minister said, you can be forgiven but be careful of the power of lust.
    Next day,man says I am sorry, but last night I touched and fondled her breasts (bit like shade of grey this). The minister said this is getting close to be a wrong doing, you must abstain.
    Fourth day man says, we had full passionate sex last night. Minister says, "What happened" man says we did all from night before then we touched each others private parts. We then went to oral sex, I wasn't sure by the smell if it would last another 3 days. Silly cow thought you meant not even washing by no touching.Gross
    Campbell Brodie
    Campbell Brodie
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 56753
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 65
    Location : Scotland

    Joining the church.... Empty Re: Joining the church....

    Post by Campbell Brodie on Tue 30 Oct 2012 - 21:34

    Joining the church.... Embarrassed-smiley18



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