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    Notice to Seniors - from the Gov.....

    Anonymous
    Guest
    Guest

    Notice to Seniors - from the Gov..... Empty Notice to Seniors - from the Gov.....

    Post by Guest on Tue 6 Sep 2011 - 18:57

    Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the economy, the Government has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 50 years of age and above on early, mandatory retirement, thus creating jobs and reducing unemployment.

    This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).

    Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to the Government to be considered for the SHAFT program (Special Help After Forced Termination).

    Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (System Covering Retired-Early Workers).

    A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as the Government deems appropriate.

    Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependents & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).

    Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by the Government.

    Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. The Government has always prided themselves on the amount of SHIT they give our citizens.

    Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to the attention of your MP, who has been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle.

    Sincerely,
    The Committee for Economic Value of Individual Lives (E.V.I.L.)

    PS - Due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas and oil, as well as current market conditions, The Light at the End of the Tunnel has been turned off.
    cunningham
    cunningham
     
     

    Wales Male Posts : 3211
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 65
    Location : in the dog house

    Notice to Seniors - from the Gov..... Empty Re: Notice to Seniors - from the Gov.....

    Post by cunningham on Tue 6 Sep 2011 - 19:00

    Queenie wrote:Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the economy, the Government has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 50 years of age and above on early, mandatory retirement, thus creating jobs and reducing unemployment.

    This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).

    Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to the Government to be considered for the SHAFT program (Special Help After Forced Termination).

    Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (System Covering Retired-Early Workers).

    A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as the Government deems appropriate.

    Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependents & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).

    Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by the Government.

    Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. The Government has always prided themselves on the amount of SHIT they give our citizens.

    Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to the attention of your MP, who has been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle.

    Sincerely,
    The Committee for Economic Value of Individual Lives (E.V.I.L.)

    PS - Due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas and oil, as well as current market conditions, The Light at the End of the Tunnel has been turned off.
    nice one mum, not copied that off anyone have you?Notice to Seniors - from the Gov..... 3077217049
    Mermaid
    Mermaid
     
     

    Scotland Female Posts : 9818
    Join date : 2011-08-14
    Location : Scotland

    Notice to Seniors - from the Gov..... Empty Re: Notice to Seniors - from the Gov.....

    Post by Mermaid on Tue 6 Sep 2011 - 19:46

    Notice to Seniors - from the Gov..... 3025408739 . You have made my day



    Live life to the full now or it could be too late
    Anonymous
    Guest
    Guest

    Notice to Seniors - from the Gov..... Empty Re: Notice to Seniors - from the Gov.....

    Post by Guest on Tue 6 Sep 2011 - 19:52

    cunningham wrote: nice one mum, not copied that off anyone have you?Notice to Seniors - from the Gov..... 3077217049

    You guessed, yes I received it just before I started cooking dinner and thought it was superb. I wouldnt mind betting the same person sent it to you and Oneleg, but not sure about anyone else.

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    Notice to Seniors - from the Gov..... Empty Re: Notice to Seniors - from the Gov.....

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