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    Who's had a serious illness ?

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    Mcqueen
     
     

    England Male Posts : 25162
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 63
    Location : England

    Who's had a serious illness ?

    Post by Mcqueen on Sun 8 Jan 2012 - 19:31

    December 1987 I got a serious earache, Rang the quack 2am, 4am he turned up, He was sat outside listening to the cricket ?, Pakistani he was, So i went outside and asked if he would like to come in. , Stuck a wotsit in my ear and said you have an infection, NO, Temp was sky high too, Take these he said and come see me tommoro, Well i was up all night, talk about pi**ed off, Went later that day, He said take these, Now blox i said, I want action NOW, He said you can see the ENT specialist but it will cost you private today, do it man, So off i went to this big posh house and Dr Ghandi came to the door, Ah Come in Reg, Into his private surgery i go,
    Tut Tut, thats serious sinus infection you have? Sinus ? Gets on the phone and barks a few orders, Drive to the hospital Reg i will see you there ?, Right 2 ways of doing this, Antibiotics drip and sit still for 2 days, Or i cut your ear drum and wash your sinuses with salt water while your awake, not nice, But you can be home for christmas tommoro, So i went for the cold turkey, So 3 staff with buckets and i mean buckets of salt water poured down 2 funnels brayed up each nostril, In one end and out the other, It came out of my eye sockets and ears, i was throwing up, Deep joy i thought, then put to bed until 10am next morning, Ghandi turned up, had a check over then said you need to come back next week you have pollips ?,So i had the opp the week after, Thats ones no fun either, Had them removed another 3 times over the next few years, Then 1997 after a check up it got more serious, I had a tumour -Bugger, But then Ghandi said heap big trouble Reg, We need to take it out attached to the bone or it will grow back, This means going in through the roof of your mouth, Removing a 2" square from your left eye socket down to your jaw and across both ways, with the tumour attached, Do it once do it right, Or it will come back,-bugger, I said will you spoil my good looks. Dont worry he said the plastic surgeons these days are very good, Great i thought, how reasuring, Anyway its been a long time now, i seem to have beaten it, Had check ups every 3 months, All clear, Last time i rang to see him the nurse went quiet when i asked to see him, I'm very sorry to tell you but Mr wotsit died, Died ? what of, Brain tumour she said, We found him slumped on his desk, He knew he had it but said nothing, Because it was inoperable, Feck me, Who's a lucky boy, Theres more ha ha, I went for an eye test a few years later, The optician asked if i had trouble with anything ?, I told him about the tumour and what they did to get at it, I'm very sorry he said and left the room, in walks a nurse and puts her arm around me, Now i know i can pull but i never met this bird before, She says would you like some tea, now i twigged he saw something behind my eyes, In walks the big chief surgeon from the eye department, Chinese he was, Tin pot lid or something they called him, He gets the camera thing and has a look, Sits back and smiles at me, then bollocked this underling into the corner, Have you never seen bear tracks before, how long have you been qualified, Who passed you, Get out i will deal with you later, I'm so sorry reg if he scared you, If he had asked me i would have told him, I knew i had them, I left the hospital skipping, Another close shave, so any of you lot been or had a serious illness ?, This story was brought on by my mug shot, I thought my face looks lived in, It has been, And i'm gratefull to be here,
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    Campbell Brodie
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 38621
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 62
    Location : Scotland

    Re: Who's had a serious illness ?

    Post by Campbell Brodie on Sun 8 Jan 2012 - 20:37

    Bloody hell Reg, you've been through the mill! Apart from childhood accidents, like being run over by a feckin' ambulance and breaking my pelvis , I've been pretty much illness free. A major bout of bronchitis when I was in the Army but nowt to speak off. Pretty lucky me really.



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    Topdog
     
     

    England Male Posts : 21357
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    Re: Who's had a serious illness ?

    Post by Topdog on Sun 8 Jan 2012 - 20:39

    Yes Reg, reason I came out of Navy was due to Tetanus. I actually had lockjaw. I was home on leave and with a girlfriend and just started running, straight into a lamp post. My left bottom teeth were locked on to my Right top ones.
    I was taken to Sussex county, junior quack said I have had a fit and dislocated my jaw. The jaw was snapped back and I was sent home. 3 hours later left eye started shutting the me jaw just locked over, rushed to Sussex. Docs said Sailor eh, what Drugs you doing son, none said me Ma. No good asking me my jaw has locked.
    Some Big Black Momma nurse went to the phone and called a specialist named Dr Sheldon, she was really the best in nerve related diseases.
    Anne Sheldon was at a Christmas ball and arrived in all her regalia, looked at me and said Lumber punctures immediately. They gave me massive doses of the serum, by now I was shutting down. Hands had locked I had broken 2 fingers on the Black nurses hand. Eyes locked one still damaged to this day.
    Big Nurse saved my life, I was given a 40% chance of making it. Then in isolation for 3 weeks before transferred to main ward.
    Then 3 more weeks in Hospital and a 9 month recovery, with phlebitis. Could not walk for 5 months.

    Next 3 Cysts removed in Colon after collapsing at home, nothing wrong said the hospital, bollocks said me, I want a second opinion. Camera in both front and back, oooh we have 3 large cysts. Remove them, back at work next day.

    Next, gave kiss of life to 4 year old girl who drowned on our honey moon. Got home 2 days later and started feeling unwell, collapsed, body was closing down, I had caught a infection off her. Poor bugger didn't make it I did.

    Next 2 years ago Tenerife, blessing of the animals, got really sick, any thing I ate or drunk came out. Brilliant treatment at medi centre in Tenerife, gave me enough gear to get me home.
    Got back and 2 days later felt really bad.
    Could not get past Doctors receptionist, went down there and my Doc walked past whilst I was at the desk.
    5weeks off work, lung infection bought on by the fact I had Compyler bacter, c coli and blood poisoning.
    Had to use stuff like complan for 3 weeks just to get nosh in me.

    Apart from that never.......
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    Mcqueen
     
     

    England Male Posts : 25162
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 63
    Location : England

    Re: Who's had a serious illness ?

    Post by Mcqueen on Sun 8 Jan 2012 - 20:46

    Friggin el Kev, That Cams a lucky bugger innit, You aint got lock jaw now though, Talk a glass eye to sleep, ,
    Thought Dermo might have a tale, He dont look too good,
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    Perfectspecimen
     
     

    Liechtenstein Male Posts : 13349
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    Age : 63
    Location : Cambs / Golf del Sur

    Re: Who's had a serious illness ?

    Post by Perfectspecimen on Sun 8 Jan 2012 - 20:50

    Never been a hospital bed in my life. Yea, I'm surprised too.



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    Topdog
     
     

    England Male Posts : 21357
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    Location : England

    Re: Who's had a serious illness ?

    Post by Topdog on Sun 8 Jan 2012 - 20:55

    Mcqueen wrote:Friggin el Kev, That Cams a lucky bugger innit, You aint got lock jaw now though, Talk a glass eye to sleep, ,
    Thought Dermo might have a tale, He dont look too good,
    Fighters us Reg, my misses has had a worse deal than me, all mine I got over, she had a nurse she was lifting with drop her side of a 16 stone patient, knackered at 29. C5/C6 and C7/C8 discs smashed to bugger and spine damage. Looks OK to the naked eye, due to drugs and Chiro, every 3 weeks. Also weekly accupuncture and a personal trainer to keep her supple (she can only do certain exercises). Falls over, can't walk for a couple of days at a time and is in constant pain. She can only walk a very short distance, TRG to Safari and she would have to take 5 mins.
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    Campbell Brodie
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 38621
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 62
    Location : Scotland

    Re: Who's had a serious illness ?

    Post by Campbell Brodie on Sun 8 Jan 2012 - 20:57

    It's all that warm weather down in England, it's turned you all into big jessies. You need some real Scottish weather to toughen you all up!

    Seriously though, we have a saying up here: "It's just as well you don't know what's round the corner". If we did we'd probably jump off the nearest high bridge! The more older I get and think about life, it's all one big feckin' lottery. Some are winners, some are losers. Some are loaded, some are skint. Some die, some live. Feck it I'm getting all philosophical, I'll shut up now!



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    3rdforum
     
     

    Ireland Male Posts : 19918
    Join date : 2011-08-30
    Age : 47
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    Re: Who's had a serious illness ?

    Post by 3rdforum on Sun 8 Jan 2012 - 21:04

    . Nothing major ever happened to me. ( I'm probably after jinxing meself now!). My eldest fella was diagnosed with meningitis when he was 6 months old. Had to hold him down while they did a lumbar puncture. Consultant came in next day and while she hadn't the results of the test, said that the diagnosis up to that point was "significant" and the prognosis wasn't good. he had a rash and a temp. We went out and bought new clothes for him to bury him in. Results came back on 4th day. Couldn't find anything wrong and he had some kind of a virus ( they didn't know what ). It was the worst 72 hours of my life. I was promising all kinds of things if he could be all right.
    Myself, I've never even broken a bone despite falling off trees, ladders and scaffolding. Broken my nose a few times but that was mainly in car crashes. Have to say, I've never heard stories like the two of you. Somebody somewhere was watching over ye!






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    3rdforum
     
     

    Ireland Male Posts : 19918
    Join date : 2011-08-30
    Age : 47
    Location : Ireland

    Re: Who's had a serious illness ?

    Post by 3rdforum on Sun 8 Jan 2012 - 21:07

    Kev, how does your missus manage the flight to Tenerife? Her back must be in spasm by the time you land






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    Topdog
     
     

    England Male Posts : 21357
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 58
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    Re: Who's had a serious illness ?

    Post by Topdog on Sun 8 Jan 2012 - 21:15

    No we fly comfy and she has a lot of treatment before we go. She ain't good though for the first couple of days, but the benefits of being there out way all this. She has a pillow she takes and wears a neck brace for take off. Apart from that its pain killers and getting up at least every hour. I am also trained in massage and accupressure, I had to for obvious reasons so do give her pressure points some treatment.
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    Cruella de Vil
     
     

    Spain Female Posts : 3087
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    Re: Who's had a serious illness ?

    Post by Cruella de Vil on Sun 8 Jan 2012 - 21:15

    I once had malaria and got pregnant twice, does that count?



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    Topdog
     
     

    England Male Posts : 21357
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 58
    Location : England

    Re: Who's had a serious illness ?

    Post by Topdog on Sun 8 Jan 2012 - 21:18

    Cruella de Vil wrote:I once had malaria and got pregnant twice, does that count?
    How many mosquitos did you give birth to.
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    Mcqueen
     
     

    England Male Posts : 25162
    Join date : 2011-08-13
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    Re: Who's had a serious illness ?

    Post by Mcqueen on Sun 8 Jan 2012 - 21:19

    Blimey Dermo, I hate it when kids are not well, I would turn to god to help my lot, If i thought it would do some good,
    Grown ups can say whats up with them, And they have had a bit of life, So i dont worry whats heading my way,
    But kids, Anyway, Lets cheer up, were all upright and well, I can feel a story coming on,
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    Topdog
     
     

    England Male Posts : 21357
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 58
    Location : England

    Re: Who's had a serious illness ?

    Post by Topdog on Sun 8 Jan 2012 - 21:21

    Mcqueen wrote:Blimey Dermo, I hate it when kids are not well, I would turn to god to help my lot, If i thought it would do some good,
    Grown ups can say whats up with them, And they have had a bit of life, So i dont worry whats heading my way,
    But kids, Anyway, Lets cheer up, were all upright and well, I can feel a story coming on,
    That would shit me up what D went through.

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