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Tenerife's Forum of Fun

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    Humour.

    foodiejohn
    foodiejohn
     
     

    UK Male Posts : 150
    Join date : 2018-10-28
    Age : 73

    Humour. - Page 39 Empty Re: Humour.

    Post by foodiejohn on Mon 20 Jan 2020 - 16:43

    Humour. - Page 39 1498946960
    Mcqueen
    Mcqueen
     
     

    England Male Posts : 29787
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 66
    Location : England

    Humour. - Page 39 Empty Re: Humour.

    Post by Mcqueen on Mon 20 Jan 2020 - 18:00

    Humour. - Page 39 3025408739
    Campbell Brodie
    Campbell Brodie
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 55730
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    Humour. - Page 39 Empty Re: Humour.

    Post by Campbell Brodie on Tue 21 Jan 2020 - 12:34

    A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money.

    The first does a total makeover. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new makeup; buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much.

    The man was impressed.

    The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much..

    Again, the man is impressed.

    The third invests the money in the stock market She earns several times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5,000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much.

    Obviously, the man was impressed.

    The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money he'd given her.

    Then he married the one with the biggest tits.

    Men are like that, you know.



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    Mcqueen
    Mcqueen
     
     

    England Male Posts : 29787
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 66
    Location : England

    Humour. - Page 39 Empty Re: Humour.

    Post by Mcqueen on Tue 21 Jan 2020 - 12:45

    Humour. - Page 39 2485877773  Nothing like a decent pair for sure
    Campbell Brodie
    Campbell Brodie
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 55730
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 65
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    Humour. - Page 39 Empty Re: Humour.

    Post by Campbell Brodie on Tue 21 Jan 2020 - 18:47

    Wee Jimmie's met a burd in a bar and he's trying to impress her.
    He's having a pee at the urinal when Rod Stewart walks in.
    Rod!!! Im your biggest fan ever!!! Could you do me a favour PLEASE?!
    Sure says Rod, what do you need?
    I'm trying to impress that burd over there. Could you pretend that you know me and make out that we are old friends?
    No problem says Rod.
    Back at the table Jimmy says to the girl."Look that's my old pal Rod Stewart" amd gives hima wave.
    You know Rod Stewart?!! Says the girl, mightily impressed.
    Rod comes over and says "Hey Jimmy how are you doing pal?"
    Jimmy says. "Fer fucks sake Rod, can ye no see I'm wi a burd?"



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    Mcqueen
    Mcqueen
     
     

    England Male Posts : 29787
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 66
    Location : England

    Humour. - Page 39 Empty Re: Humour.

    Post by Mcqueen on Tue 21 Jan 2020 - 19:17

    Humour. - Page 39 3025408739
    Campbell Brodie
    Campbell Brodie
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 55730
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    Age : 65
    Location : Scotland

    Humour. - Page 39 Empty Re: Humour.

    Post by Campbell Brodie on Sun 26 Jan 2020 - 11:06

    Imagine seeing this in an A&E waiting room...an empty seat! Humour. - Page 39 3025408739

    Humour. - Page 39 83709110



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    Campbell Brodie
    Campbell Brodie
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 55730
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    Humour. - Page 39 Empty Re: Humour.

    Post by Campbell Brodie on Sun 26 Jan 2020 - 13:01

    Feckin' jinx!

    Humour. - Page 39 82920810



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    Mcqueen
    Mcqueen
     
     

    England Male Posts : 29787
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    Age : 66
    Location : England

    Humour. - Page 39 Empty Re: Humour.

    Post by Mcqueen on Sun 26 Jan 2020 - 14:03

    Should have bought a lotto ticket Humour. - Page 39 2472758156
    Campbell Brodie
    Campbell Brodie
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 55730
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    Humour. - Page 39 Empty Re: Humour.

    Post by Campbell Brodie on Sun 26 Jan 2020 - 16:36

    You've got to ask would trains really be running... Humour. - Page 39 3025408739



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    Mcqueen
    Mcqueen
     
     

    England Male Posts : 29787
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 66
    Location : England

    Humour. - Page 39 Empty Re: Humour.

    Post by Mcqueen on Sun 26 Jan 2020 - 17:55

    Humour. - Page 39 878948377 Humour. - Page 39 3025408739
    Campbell Brodie
    Campbell Brodie
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 55730
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    Humour. - Page 39 Empty Re: Humour.

    Post by Campbell Brodie on Mon 27 Jan 2020 - 11:28

    Humour. - Page 39 83372610



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    Campbell Brodie
    Campbell Brodie
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 55730
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    Humour. - Page 39 Empty Re: Humour.

    Post by Campbell Brodie on Tue 28 Jan 2020 - 11:07

    Humour. - Page 39 83110410



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    Campbell Brodie
    Campbell Brodie
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 55730
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    Humour. - Page 39 Empty Re: Humour.

    Post by Campbell Brodie on Tue 28 Jan 2020 - 13:57

    Humour. - Page 39 83164510



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    3rdforum
    3rdforum
     
     

    Ireland Male Posts : 22550
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    Humour. - Page 39 Empty Re: Humour.

    Post by 3rdforum on Tue 28 Jan 2020 - 21:09

    Some bastard stole my glasses today. If you're reading this. I will find you. I have contacts.






    Campbell Brodie
    Campbell Brodie
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 55730
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 65
    Location : Scotland

    Humour. - Page 39 Empty Re: Humour.

    Post by Campbell Brodie on Tue 28 Jan 2020 - 21:31

    Humour. - Page 39 3025408739 Humour. - Page 39 3025408739



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    Mcqueen
    Mcqueen
     
     

    England Male Posts : 29787
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    Humour. - Page 39 Empty Re: Humour.

    Post by Mcqueen on Wed 29 Jan 2020 - 6:30

    Humour. - Page 39 1498946960 Humour. - Page 39 3025408739
    Campbell Brodie
    Campbell Brodie
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 55730
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    Humour. - Page 39 Empty Re: Humour.

    Post by Campbell Brodie on Wed 29 Jan 2020 - 13:08

    Humour. - Page 39 83687610



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    Campbell Brodie
    Campbell Brodie
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 55730
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    Humour. - Page 39 Empty Re: Humour.

    Post by Campbell Brodie on Wed 29 Jan 2020 - 14:27

    Humour. - Page 39 83879710



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    Campbell Brodie
    Campbell Brodie
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 55730
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    Humour. - Page 39 Empty Re: Humour.

    Post by Campbell Brodie on Thu 30 Jan 2020 - 10:15

    Humour. - Page 39 83853010



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    Campbell Brodie
    Campbell Brodie
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 55730
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    Humour. - Page 39 Empty Re: Humour.

    Post by Campbell Brodie on Thu 30 Jan 2020 - 19:03

    Humour. - Page 39 84897110



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    Campbell Brodie
    Campbell Brodie
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 55730
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    Humour. - Page 39 Empty Re: Humour.

    Post by Campbell Brodie on Sat 1 Feb 2020 - 15:04

    Humour. - Page 39 84324910



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    Campbell Brodie
    Campbell Brodie
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 55730
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    Humour. - Page 39 Empty Re: Humour.

    Post by Campbell Brodie on Sat 1 Feb 2020 - 19:55

    Humour. - Page 39 82825910



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    Campbell Brodie
    Campbell Brodie
     
     

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    Humour. - Page 39 Empty Re: Humour.

    Post by Campbell Brodie on Sat 1 Feb 2020 - 20:04

    Humour. - Page 39 83191010



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    Campbell Brodie
    Campbell Brodie
     
     

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    Humour. - Page 39 Empty Re: Humour.

    Post by Campbell Brodie on Mon 3 Feb 2020 - 20:18

    Humour. - Page 39 84047710



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      Current date/time is Tue 4 Aug 2020 - 21:39