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Humour.

Campbell Brodie
Campbell Brodie
 
 

Scotland Male Posts : 49761
Join date : 2011-08-13
Age : 64
Location : Scotland

Humour. - Page 30 Empty Re: Humour.

Post by Campbell Brodie on Thu 22 Aug 2019 - 18:57

Humour. - Page 30 68621810



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3rdforum
3rdforum
 
 

Ireland Male Posts : 21799
Join date : 2011-08-30
Age : 49
Location : Ireland

Humour. - Page 30 Empty Re: Humour.

Post by 3rdforum on Thu 22 Aug 2019 - 20:56

Humour. - Page 30 3025408739 Humour. - Page 30 3025408739 Humour. - Page 30 3025408739






Campbell Brodie
Campbell Brodie
 
 

Scotland Male Posts : 49761
Join date : 2011-08-13
Age : 64
Location : Scotland

Humour. - Page 30 Empty Re: Humour.

Post by Campbell Brodie on Fri 23 Aug 2019 - 10:01

Humour. - Page 30 67978010



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Campbell Brodie
Campbell Brodie
 
 

Scotland Male Posts : 49761
Join date : 2011-08-13
Age : 64
Location : Scotland

Humour. - Page 30 Empty Re: Humour.

Post by Campbell Brodie on Fri 23 Aug 2019 - 16:46

Humour. - Page 30 69514210



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Campbell Brodie
Campbell Brodie
 
 

Scotland Male Posts : 49761
Join date : 2011-08-13
Age : 64
Location : Scotland

Humour. - Page 30 Empty Re: Humour.

Post by Campbell Brodie on Fri 23 Aug 2019 - 19:08

Humour. - Page 30 68755710



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Campbell Brodie
Campbell Brodie
 
 

Scotland Male Posts : 49761
Join date : 2011-08-13
Age : 64
Location : Scotland

Humour. - Page 30 Empty Re: Humour.

Post by Campbell Brodie on Sat 24 Aug 2019 - 11:29

Humour. - Page 30 68748310



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Campbell Brodie
Campbell Brodie
 
 

Scotland Male Posts : 49761
Join date : 2011-08-13
Age : 64
Location : Scotland

Humour. - Page 30 Empty Re: Humour.

Post by Campbell Brodie on Sat 24 Aug 2019 - 19:01

Humour. - Page 30 68756110



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Mcqueen
Mcqueen
 
 

England Male Posts : 28576
Join date : 2011-08-13
Age : 65
Location : England

Humour. - Page 30 Empty Re: Humour.

Post by Mcqueen on Sat 24 Aug 2019 - 20:05

Humour. - Page 30 3025408739
Campbell Brodie
Campbell Brodie
 
 

Scotland Male Posts : 49761
Join date : 2011-08-13
Age : 64
Location : Scotland

Humour. - Page 30 Empty Re: Humour.

Post by Campbell Brodie on Sun 25 Aug 2019 - 19:55

Humour. - Page 30 68920210



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Mcqueen
Mcqueen
 
 

England Male Posts : 28576
Join date : 2011-08-13
Age : 65
Location : England

Humour. - Page 30 Empty Re: Humour.

Post by Mcqueen on Sun 25 Aug 2019 - 20:00

Humour. - Page 30 3025408739
Campbell Brodie
Campbell Brodie
 
 

Scotland Male Posts : 49761
Join date : 2011-08-13
Age : 64
Location : Scotland

Humour. - Page 30 Empty Re: Humour.

Post by Campbell Brodie on Mon 26 Aug 2019 - 18:31

A truck loaded with thousands of copies of Roget's Thesaurus crashed yesterday losing its entire load. Witnesses were stunned, startled, aghast, taken aback, stupefied, confused, shocked, rattled, paralyses, dazed, bewildered, mixed up, surprised, awed, dumbfounded, nonplussed, flabbergasted, astounded, amazed, confounded, astonished, overwhelmed, horrified, numbed, speechless, and perplexed.

Humour. - Page 30 69490910



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Campbell Brodie
Campbell Brodie
 
 

Scotland Male Posts : 49761
Join date : 2011-08-13
Age : 64
Location : Scotland

Humour. - Page 30 Empty Re: Humour.

Post by Campbell Brodie on Mon 26 Aug 2019 - 19:11

Humour. - Page 30 69248410



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Mcqueen
Mcqueen
 
 

England Male Posts : 28576
Join date : 2011-08-13
Age : 65
Location : England

Humour. - Page 30 Empty Re: Humour.

Post by Mcqueen on Mon 26 Aug 2019 - 21:00

Humour. - Page 30 3025408739
innit
innit
 
 

Posts : 2332
Join date : 2011-08-23

Humour. - Page 30 Empty Re: Humour.

Post by innit on Tue 27 Aug 2019 - 11:02

To who ever stole my glasses today
I will find you,
I have contacts
Mcqueen
Mcqueen
 
 

England Male Posts : 28576
Join date : 2011-08-13
Age : 65
Location : England

Humour. - Page 30 Empty Re: Humour.

Post by Mcqueen on Tue 27 Aug 2019 - 12:51

Humour. - Page 30 2419626307 Humour. - Page 30 3025408739
foodiejohn
foodiejohn
 
 

UK Male Posts : 119
Join date : 2018-10-28
Age : 72

Humour. - Page 30 Empty Re: Humour.

Post by foodiejohn on Tue 27 Aug 2019 - 19:05

A train hits a busload of Catholic school girls and they all die. They all arrive at heaven wanting to enter the pearly gates.

St. Peter asks the first girl, "Mary, have you ever had any contact with a penis?
She giggles and shyly replies, "Well I once touched the head of one with the tip of my finger.
St. Peter says, "Well, dip the tip of your finger in the Holy Water and pass through the gate."

St. Peter asks the next girl the same question, "Jennifer have you ever had any contact with a penis?
The girl is a little reluctant but replies, "Well once I fondled and stroked one."
St. Peter says, "Then dip your whole hand in The Holy Water and pass through the gate."

All of a sudden there is a lot of commotion in the line of girls, one girl is pushing her way to the front of the line. When she reaches the front of the line St. Peter says, "Carol! What seems to be the rush?"

The girl replies, "If I'm going to have to gargle with that Holy Water, I want to do it before Tiffany sticks her arse in it"...
Mcqueen
Mcqueen
 
 

England Male Posts : 28576
Join date : 2011-08-13
Age : 65
Location : England

Humour. - Page 30 Empty Re: Humour.

Post by Mcqueen on Tue 27 Aug 2019 - 19:52

Humour. - Page 30 2485877773 Humour. - Page 30 2485877773 Humour. - Page 30 2485877773
3rdforum
3rdforum
 
 

Ireland Male Posts : 21799
Join date : 2011-08-30
Age : 49
Location : Ireland

Humour. - Page 30 Empty Re: Humour.

Post by 3rdforum on Tue 27 Aug 2019 - 20:16

Humour. - Page 30 2485877773 Humour. - Page 30 2485877773






Campbell Brodie
Campbell Brodie
 
 

Scotland Male Posts : 49761
Join date : 2011-08-13
Age : 64
Location : Scotland

Humour. - Page 30 Empty Re: Humour.

Post by Campbell Brodie on Tue 27 Aug 2019 - 21:59

Humour. - Page 30 69290510



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Mcqueen
Mcqueen
 
 

England Male Posts : 28576
Join date : 2011-08-13
Age : 65
Location : England

Humour. - Page 30 Empty Re: Humour.

Post by Mcqueen on Wed 28 Aug 2019 - 7:23

Humour. - Page 30 3025408739  Mmm i might cut my bell off Humour. - Page 30 3275847336 can i say that
Campbell Brodie
Campbell Brodie
 
 

Scotland Male Posts : 49761
Join date : 2011-08-13
Age : 64
Location : Scotland

Humour. - Page 30 Empty Re: Humour.

Post by Campbell Brodie on Wed 28 Aug 2019 - 8:16

Humour. - Page 30 3025408739



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Campbell Brodie
Campbell Brodie
 
 

Scotland Male Posts : 49761
Join date : 2011-08-13
Age : 64
Location : Scotland

Humour. - Page 30 Empty Re: Humour.

Post by Campbell Brodie on Wed 28 Aug 2019 - 17:30

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi TU understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.

And Congratulations you have learnt German within minutes...```
8



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Mcqueen
Mcqueen
 
 

England Male Posts : 28576
Join date : 2011-08-13
Age : 65
Location : England

Humour. - Page 30 Empty Re: Humour.

Post by Mcqueen on Wed 28 Aug 2019 - 18:03

Them Krauts are history again later this year and the French Poodle with the bad memory will be out to grass also, My thoughts are Boris has already done a deal with Queenie, she has said get on with it and i will back you, she is as fed up with them MP's too, they dont understand we voted out, out is out
Campbell Brodie
Campbell Brodie
 
 

Scotland Male Posts : 49761
Join date : 2011-08-13
Age : 64
Location : Scotland

Humour. - Page 30 Empty Re: Humour.

Post by Campbell Brodie on Wed 28 Aug 2019 - 18:11

It suits Liz to be out. Gives her more sovereignty innit...



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Mcqueen
Mcqueen
 
 

England Male Posts : 28576
Join date : 2011-08-13
Age : 65
Location : England

Humour. - Page 30 Empty Re: Humour.

Post by Mcqueen on Wed 28 Aug 2019 - 19:51

Take her mind off Andy Humour. - Page 30 1498946960 interesting to see what happens about that, Trump might stick his oar in

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