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    The doctors surgery

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    Mcqueen
     
     

    England Male Posts : 24217
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 63
    Location : England

    The doctors surgery

    Post by Mcqueen on Wed 23 Nov 2011 - 19:43

    We could have one for minor things, I dont mean how do i take my appendix out,
    Advice about things like stubbed toe's, Or trapped fingers, Cam can you put it somewhere, i cant find out how, thanks,
    avatar
    Campbell Brodie
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 36631
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 62
    Location : Scotland

    Re: The doctors surgery

    Post by Campbell Brodie on Wed 23 Nov 2011 - 19:51

    Right, I'll start. Who has any good homeopathic remedies for acne? (Or old wife remedies). I have suffered from it all my life and it is kept under control by having to take a pill (minicycline) every morning.
    avatar
    Mcqueen
     
     

    England Male Posts : 24217
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 63
    Location : England

    Re: The doctors surgery

    Post by Mcqueen on Wed 23 Nov 2011 - 20:09

    Today i was at the docs again, Blood taken etc, Going over the way to use injections,
    Anything else Reg, Well, looking all embarrassed, I'm having trouble with the fire exit, I got myself a commercial Anusol dispenser, But no improvement, Jump on the couch i'l take a look,
    Were talking 30 year old female here, So i'm there with no kecks and knees under my chin, on my side, She slips a pair of marigolds on and some axle grease, Hard hat, Ear defenders
    And torch, Fech me, Is this really happening, Best finger forward, Ouch, I'm sure i peed up the wall too, Ah she says, Anal Fissure, Looking all smug with herself, Was that because they want to get back at the male species ?, Felt like it, So she asks have you been having trouble going. Yes i said, Its them tablets, Well youve torn your Rim ,And the anusol has been making it worse, Feck me, What next, A torn Rim, She sounded like i do when telling a punter there timing belt has snapped, Sad but quietly pleased, (Big bucks ), So there you are, Another chapter in my failing health, What next i wonder,
    avatar
    Mcqueen
     
     

    England Male Posts : 24217
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 63
    Location : England

    Re: The doctors surgery

    Post by Mcqueen on Wed 23 Nov 2011 - 20:17

    The Lone Ranger wrote:Right, I'll start. Who has any good homeopathic remedies for acne? (Or old wife remedies). I have suffered from it all my life and it is kept under control by having to take a pill (minicycline) every morning.

    Well Mr Brodie, I have a mate who is the same, and his daughter too, She is really upset about it, She covers it up with allsorts, and that makes it worse, With them its heredity, Nothing can be done for them, Steam baths and sunshine make it better, But it dosent go away, Have you tried anusol ?
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    Campbell Brodie
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 36631
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 62
    Location : Scotland

    Re: The doctors surgery

    Post by Campbell Brodie on Wed 23 Nov 2011 - 20:22

    Underdog wrote:Today i was at the docs again, Blood taken etc, Going over the way to use injections,
    Anything else Reg, Well, looking all embarrassed, I'm having trouble with the fire exit, I got myself a commercial Anusol dispenser, But no improvement, Jump on the couch i'l take a look,
    Were talking 30 year old female here, So i'm there with no kecks and knees under my chin, on my side, She slips a pair of marigolds on and some axle grease, Hard hat, Ear defenders
    And torch, Fech me, Is this really happening, Best finger forward, Ouch, I'm sure i peed up the wall too, Ah she says, Anal Fissure, Looking all smug with herself, Was that because they want to get back at the male species ?, Felt like it, So she asks have you been having trouble going. Yes i said, Its them tablets, Well youve torn your Rim ,And the anusol has been making it worse, Feck me, What next, A torn Rim, She sounded like i do when telling a punter there timing belt has snapped, Sad but quietly pleased, (Big bucks ), So there you are, Another chapter in my failing health, What next i wonder,

    Underdog wrote:

    Well Mr Brodie, I have a mate who is the same, and his daughter too, She is really upset about it, She covers it up with allsorts, and that makes it worse, With them its heredity, Nothing can be done for them, Steam baths and sunshine make it better, But it dosent go away, Have you tried anusol ?

    Feck me Reg, I'm sitting here with tears in my eyes! Man, the mental images I was conjuring up...
    avatar
    Mcqueen
     
     

    England Male Posts : 24217
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 63
    Location : England

    Re: The doctors surgery

    Post by Mcqueen on Wed 23 Nov 2011 - 20:32

    Now you know how i felt, When she asked if the anusol did anygood i said no, It just made me walk like a baby with a full nappie, Them quacks dont seem to have a sense of humour, And its my Rim ?
    avatar
    Mermaid
     
     

    Scotland Female Posts : 8773
    Join date : 2011-08-14
    Location : Scotland

    Re: The doctors surgery

    Post by Mermaid on Wed 23 Nov 2011 - 20:37

    Oh Reg you are in a bad way. I hope the doctor gave you something better than Anusol.



    Live life to the full now or it could be too late
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    Cruella de Vil
     
     

    Spain Female Posts : 3087
    Join date : 2011-08-22
    Age : 61
    Location : Somewhere in the Atlantic

    Re: The doctors surgery

    Post by Cruella de Vil on Wed 23 Nov 2011 - 20:44

    You could try Sudacrem for your anuanus Reg




    avatar
    Mcqueen
     
     

    England Male Posts : 24217
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 63
    Location : England

    Re: The doctors surgery

    Post by Mcqueen on Wed 23 Nov 2011 - 20:44

    OH yeh, A great big box of laxitive type stuff, Taste of lemon so you relax, Then BAM, WTF was that, Got to be loose for a while to heal, So no coughing, Or sneezing, Otherwise known as a snite ? There was no mention of this in the brochure of life, Had my pse checked, thats ok,
    avatar
    3rdforum
     
     

    Ireland Male Posts : 19386
    Join date : 2011-08-30
    Age : 47
    Location : Ireland

    Re: The doctors surgery

    Post by 3rdforum on Wed 23 Nov 2011 - 20:50

    Underdog wrote:Today i was at the docs again, Blood taken etc, Going over the way to use injections,
    Anything else Reg, Well, looking all embarrassed, I'm having trouble with the fire exit, I got myself a commercial Anusol dispenser, But no improvement, Jump on the couch i'l take a look,
    Were talking 30 year old female here, So i'm there with no kecks and knees under my chin, on my side, She slips a pair of marigolds on and some axle grease, Hard hat, Ear defenders
    And torch, Fech me, Is this really happening, Best finger forward, Ouch, I'm sure i peed up the wall too, Ah she says, Anal Fissure, Looking all smug with herself, Was that because they want to get back at the male species ?, Felt like it, So she asks have you been having trouble going. Yes i said, Its them tablets, Well youve torn your Rim ,And the anusol has been making it worse, Feck me, What next, A torn Rim, She sounded like i do when telling a punter there timing belt has snapped, Sad but quietly pleased, (Big bucks ), So there you are, Another chapter in my failing health, What next i wonder,







    avatar
    Cruella de Vil
     
     

    Spain Female Posts : 3087
    Join date : 2011-08-22
    Age : 61
    Location : Somewhere in the Atlantic

    Re: The doctors surgery

    Post by Cruella de Vil on Wed 23 Nov 2011 - 20:53

    Oh Reg, you crack me up




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    Perfectspecimen
     
     

    Liechtenstein Male Posts : 13118
    Join date : 2011-08-15
    Age : 63
    Location : Cambs / Golf del Sur

    Re: The doctors surgery

    Post by Perfectspecimen on Wed 23 Nov 2011 - 20:59

    Crack!



    Adventure before dementia!!!
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    Topdog
     
     

    England Male Posts : 21192
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 58
    Location : England

    Re: The doctors surgery

    Post by Topdog on Wed 23 Nov 2011 - 21:08

    Cruella de Vil wrote:Oh Reg, you crack me up
    Anusol works on all bad cracks. :rofl:
    Bleeding hell Reg, come and see one of the quacks in Brighton, they will have something for your rear end.

    I went to docs with a bad cough and he gave me immodium.
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    cunningham
     
     

    Wales Male Posts : 3288
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 63
    Location : in the dog house

    Re: The doctors surgery

    Post by cunningham on Wed 23 Nov 2011 - 21:13

    Underdog wrote:OH yeh, A great big box of laxitive type stuff, Taste of lemon so you relax, Then BAM, WTF was that, Got to be loose for a while to heal, So no coughing, Or sneezing, Otherwise known as a snite ? There was no mention of this in the brochure of life, Had my pse checked, thats ok,
    hey reg, can i sugest you put your ugly face where they make new uns?
    avatar
    Topdog
     
     

    England Male Posts : 21192
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 58
    Location : England

    Re: The doctors surgery

    Post by Topdog on Wed 23 Nov 2011 - 22:01

    This is a message from above an old friend of most of us sent.

    So hes not Steve McQueen ..................hes now .......................RIP TORN!!!!LOL,mind you they both starred in "Cincinatee Kid"
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    Mcqueen
     
     

    England Male Posts : 24217
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 63
    Location : England

    Re: The doctors surgery

    Post by Mcqueen on Wed 23 Nov 2011 - 22:27

    Rim (RIM) torn you ugly feck, This is meant to be a serious thread, How the hell is this forum going to be taken seriously if you ridicule my ailments, Maybe thats why its so successfull,? Nobody gives a feck ,Please dont be put off telling us what ails you, you will be taken seriously i'm sure,
    A mate sent me a joke, So i txt him back about my rim, Phone rings, Come on, Full
    story he said, ?, What ?, What you been doing ?, Dont know what you mean, Right up his street anything in the trouser region, You were bored, And you got something wedged ?.
    Err, No its you that moves in them circles, I dont believe you he said, One day you will tell me ?, Some strange feckers about i tell you, Its now my word of the week, Rim, It has a certain tone, Rim tone ?, that reminds me of a joke ?
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    Perfectspecimen
     
     

    Liechtenstein Male Posts : 13118
    Join date : 2011-08-15
    Age : 63
    Location : Cambs / Golf del Sur

    Re: The doctors surgery

    Post by Perfectspecimen on Wed 23 Nov 2011 - 22:34

    GRim old tale that Reg.



    Adventure before dementia!!!
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    Mcqueen
     
     

    England Male Posts : 24217
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 63
    Location : England

    Re: The doctors surgery

    Post by Mcqueen on Wed 23 Nov 2011 - 22:38

    Perfectspecimen wrote:GRim old tale that Reg.
    Ha Ha, Never in a month of sundays, Did i think Frank Bullit would suffer a torn Rim, Its a sad day for sure, Best get shut of the mustang,350 GT in highland Green
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    Perfectspecimen
     
     

    Liechtenstein Male Posts : 13118
    Join date : 2011-08-15
    Age : 63
    Location : Cambs / Golf del Sur

    Re: The doctors surgery

    Post by Perfectspecimen on Wed 23 Nov 2011 - 22:40

    You can get a special cushion.......



    Adventure before dementia!!!
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    Mcqueen
     
     

    England Male Posts : 24217
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 63
    Location : England

    Re: The doctors surgery

    Post by Mcqueen on Wed 23 Nov 2011 - 22:51

    I'm ok sitting, its when i'm sitting with a h that smarts,
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    Perfectspecimen
     
     

    Liechtenstein Male Posts : 13118
    Join date : 2011-08-15
    Age : 63
    Location : Cambs / Golf del Sur

    Re: The doctors surgery

    Post by Perfectspecimen on Wed 23 Nov 2011 - 22:55

    Drink loads of pump beer Reg, lay off the eggs.



    Adventure before dementia!!!
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    3rdforum
     
     

    Ireland Male Posts : 19386
    Join date : 2011-08-30
    Age : 47
    Location : Ireland

    Re: The doctors surgery

    Post by 3rdforum on Wed 23 Nov 2011 - 23:17

    Underdog wrote:I'm ok sitting, its when i'm sitting with a h that smarts,

    Do you mean Howard?






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    Topdog
     
     

    England Male Posts : 21192
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 58
    Location : England

    Re: The doctors surgery

    Post by Topdog on Wed 23 Nov 2011 - 23:17

    avatar
    Mcqueen
     
     

    England Male Posts : 24217
    Join date : 2011-08-13
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    Re: The doctors surgery

    Post by Mcqueen on Wed 23 Nov 2011 - 23:21

    Yeh thats the one
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    Mcqueen
     
     

    England Male Posts : 24217
    Join date : 2011-08-13
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    Location : England

    Re: The doctors surgery

    Post by Mcqueen on Thu 24 Nov 2011 - 18:10

    Is everybody fit and well, Ney i was expecting allsorts, Teeth ok ?. Ear ache, Wind, Have to get up in the middle of the night ?, Its just me then,

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