This is not the porn or smut thread this is about the news.

So back on topic, and this was discussed on Question Time tonight, a Passport or utility bill of course is stupid. For a start all Brits dont have passports but they do have NI numbers, got mine at birth but I do believe foreigners can apply if they are legal in this country. Furthermore if a 'tourist' turns up at surgery or hospital the first thing the docs etc do is get up your medical record on the screen. Well, no medical record is surely enough to throw up a red flag.

If you roll up at your local free hospital in Tenerife Kev the first thing they will ask for is your residency card, or in my case a current EHIC card and associated paper work including probably my passport. Without any of these you will quickly get diverted to the private sector,,,,,,,,,,,, credit card please Sir. On a similar note I would have no problem with having to carry a UK residency card or indeed having a microchip put in my neck like Patch the dog. At least you cant lose that and like Patch I may at some time in the near future get lost myself and the cops will need to know what home for the confused I am living at.

DNA and fingerprints should all be taken at birth as well, sorry Mr Kyle, or for any immigrant, not just illegals. They already have mine anyway, got nicked for fraud in '96. Had my tax disc in the wrong car.......

While we are on the subject of driving offences since the advent of speed cameras some 20 or so years ago I have had my fair share of photos taken, oops. At first I used to own up and send the cheque off but at some point got a bit cheesed off with this so decided I would ignore them. This has worked a treat for at least 2 over the years but the last one was in Lincolnshire. Heyup, these buggers are on the ball. They are actually persuing it. Jeez. Not made my mind up fully yet but will probably continue to ignore it, mainly indeed because they want me to fill in a form detailing all my assets and earnings! Cheeky feckers. Yeah, I'm a multi millionaire who drives an antique '91 campervan.

Especially galling this one as I generally have trouble keeping up with the traffic in this, even lorrys, but sadly it is indeed capable of doing 37mph in a 30 limit. So folks gist of this is if you get a speeding notice from Lincolnshire Police best pay up and swallow. Or attend the silly speed awareness course.
