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Tenerife's Forum of Fun

A place for visitors and residents to share experiences and have fun at the same time.

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    Todays news.

    Perfectspecimen
    Perfectspecimen
     
     

    Liechtenstein Male Posts : 13733
    Join date : 2011-08-15
    Age : 65
    Location : Cambs / Golf del Sur

    Todays news. Empty Todays news.

    Post by Perfectspecimen on Tue 22 Nov 2016 - 18:27

    No Mr Trump. Mr Farage my hero will be wasted in the US. He should be head of Brexit negotiating team. After all he was the architect of it and of course the guys a proven winner.
    Peterborough Hospital want to see a passport and a utility bill before you get treatment. Good. I had to show mine when I went there for my op. Only thing is I thought it was all UK hospitals, apparently not. Todays news. 1498946960



    Adventure before dementia!!! Todays news. 294053457
    3rdforum
    3rdforum
     
     

    Ireland Male Posts : 21967
    Join date : 2011-08-30
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    Post by 3rdforum on Tue 22 Nov 2016 - 20:52

    That something to do with the ambassador job. Heard something about it today






    Campbell Brodie
    Campbell Brodie
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 50869
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 64
    Location : Scotland

    Todays news. Empty Re: Todays news.

    Post by Campbell Brodie on Wed 23 Nov 2016 - 17:46

    Yeah, No.10 says "There's no vacancy, we already have one." Which is fair enough...



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    Topdog
    Topdog
     
     

    England Male Posts : 21257
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    Post by Topdog on Wed 23 Nov 2016 - 18:01

    So as most households a coule live together and work hard but are not married, utitlity bills are in just one of their names lets say Reg Dixon and Tricia Brodie are the couple. Bills are in name of Dixon as he has more time on his hands what happens to poor Brodie, sorry not got a utility bill, sorry see yer
    Mcqueen
    Mcqueen
     
     

    England Male Posts : 28835
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    Post by Mcqueen on Wed 23 Nov 2016 - 18:19

    Mmm Todays news. 3275847336 Last week i bought a car from a Big London dealership in Mayfair, They asked for a passport copy and a utility bill  Todays news. 3095951175  i thought bugger i dont get a utility bill anymore its all on line,
    Ah but i had a water board bill or forcast and i sent that, so yeh utility bills in any name are so last year Todays news. 1483819851
    Campbell Brodie
    Campbell Brodie
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 50869
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    Post by Campbell Brodie on Wed 23 Nov 2016 - 18:23

    Since when has my wife and Reg been a couple? I'm paying McQueen a visit... Todays news. 506932706 Todays news. 506932706 Todays news. 3025408739



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    Mcqueen
    Mcqueen
     
     

    England Male Posts : 28835
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    Post by Mcqueen on Wed 23 Nov 2016 - 18:25

    I'm not in Not listening
    Topdog
    Topdog
     
     

    England Male Posts : 21257
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    Post by Topdog on Wed 23 Nov 2016 - 19:45

    You been neglecting her
    Campbell Brodie
    Campbell Brodie
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 50869
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    Post by Campbell Brodie on Wed 23 Nov 2016 - 20:18

    Seems like it! Todays news. 3025408739



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    Mcqueen
    Mcqueen
     
     

    England Male Posts : 28835
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    Post by Mcqueen on Wed 23 Nov 2016 - 20:22

    Keep her in Kitchen Todays news. 1483819851
    Mermaid
    Mermaid
     
     

    Scotland Female Posts : 9864
    Join date : 2011-08-14
    Location : Scotland

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    Post by Mermaid on Thu 24 Nov 2016 - 9:21

    The Lone Ranger wrote:Since when has my wife and Reg been a couple? I'm paying McQueen a visit... Todays news. 506932706 Todays news. 506932706 Todays news. 3025408739
    only just seen this. Todays news. 3025408739



    Live life to the full now or it could be too late
    Topdog
    Topdog
     
     

    England Male Posts : 21257
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    Post by Topdog on Thu 24 Nov 2016 - 11:34

    Be ok in the Kitchen Reg, but you would have to get a Bidet fitted so she can wash up. Todays news. 3025408739 Todays news. 3025408739 Todays news. 3025408739 Todays news. 3025408739 Todays news. 3025408739
    Campbell Brodie
    Campbell Brodie
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 50869
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    Post by Campbell Brodie on Thu 24 Nov 2016 - 15:53

    Todays news. 3025408739 Todays news. 3025408739



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    zdeekie
    zdeekie
     
     

    UK Female Posts : 4136
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    Post by zdeekie on Thu 24 Nov 2016 - 18:41

    You can tell your not getting nought Kev with the stuff you come out with, that's all you talk about  Todays news. 1003453391  Todays news. 1498946960 X
    Mcqueen
    Mcqueen
     
     

    England Male Posts : 28835
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    Post by Mcqueen on Thu 24 Nov 2016 - 19:02

    Yeh sad git Todays news. 1498946960 get a blow up doll  Todays news. 3025408739
    zdeekie
    zdeekie
     
     

    UK Female Posts : 4136
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    Post by zdeekie on Thu 24 Nov 2016 - 19:54

    Todays news. 3025408739  That would go down on him  Todays news. 3025408739 X
    Mcqueen
    Mcqueen
     
     

    England Male Posts : 28835
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    Post by Mcqueen on Thu 24 Nov 2016 - 20:01

    Todays news. 3025408739 Dont i wont sleep  Todays news. 1498946960
    Topdog
    Topdog
     
     

    England Male Posts : 21257
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    Post by Topdog on Thu 24 Nov 2016 - 23:19

    zdeekie wrote:You can tell your not getting nought Kev with the stuff you come out with, that's all you talk about  Todays news. 1003453391  Todays news. 1498946960 X
    erm what nowt washing up no sexual talk there
    Topdog
    Topdog
     
     

    England Male Posts : 21257
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    Post by Topdog on Thu 24 Nov 2016 - 23:20

    Oh and my blow up doll has a runny nose
    Topdog
    Topdog
     
     

    England Male Posts : 21257
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    Post by Topdog on Thu 24 Nov 2016 - 23:20

    Not sure what Carol read
    Perfectspecimen
    Perfectspecimen
     
     

    Liechtenstein Male Posts : 13733
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    Age : 65
    Location : Cambs / Golf del Sur

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    Post by Perfectspecimen on Fri 25 Nov 2016 - 0:51

    This is not the porn or smut thread this is about the news. Todays news. 1483819851 So back on topic, and this was discussed on Question Time tonight, a Passport or utility bill of course is stupid. For a start all Brits dont have passports but they do have NI numbers, got mine at birth but I do believe foreigners can apply if they are legal in this country. Furthermore if a 'tourist' turns up at surgery or hospital the first thing the docs etc do is get up your medical record on the screen. Well, no medical record is surely enough to throw up a red flag. Todays news. 3275847336 If you roll up at your local free hospital in Tenerife Kev the first thing they will ask for is your residency card, or in my case a current EHIC card and associated paper work including probably my passport. Without any of these you will quickly get diverted to the private sector,,,,,,,,,,,, credit card please Sir. On a similar note I would have no problem with having to carry a UK residency card or indeed having a microchip put in my neck like Patch the dog. At least you cant lose that and like Patch I may at some time in the near future get lost myself and the cops will need to know what home for the confused I am living at. Todays news. 2419626307  DNA and fingerprints should all be taken at birth as well, sorry Mr Kyle, or for any immigrant, not just illegals. They already have mine anyway, got nicked for fraud in '96. Had my tax disc in the wrong car....... Todays news. 3025408739  While we are on the subject of driving offences since the advent of speed cameras some 20 or so years ago I have had my fair share of photos taken, oops. At first I used to own up and send the cheque off but at some point got a bit cheesed off with this so decided I would ignore them. This has worked a treat for at least 2 over the years but the last one was in Lincolnshire. Heyup, these buggers are on the ball. They are actually persuing it. Jeez. Not made my mind up fully yet but will probably continue to ignore it, mainly indeed because they want me to fill in a form detailing all my assets and earnings! Cheeky feckers. Yeah, I'm a multi millionaire who drives an antique '91 campervan.  Todays news. 1498946960 Especially galling this one as I generally have trouble keeping up with the traffic in this, even lorrys, but sadly it is indeed capable of doing 37mph in a 30 limit. So folks gist of this is if you get a speeding notice from Lincolnshire Police best pay up and swallow. Or attend the silly speed awareness course.  Todays news. 294053457



    Adventure before dementia!!! Todays news. 294053457
    Adam Mint
    Adam Mint
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 21681
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    Age : 54

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    Post by Adam Mint on Fri 25 Nov 2016 - 1:34

    Mcqueen wrote:Yeh sad git Todays news. 1498946960 get a blow up doll  Todays news. 3025408739

    Blow up doll,,, my mate ain't getting on with his wife so nothing's happening in the bedroom department, I say get yourself to that sex shop down the road and get one of them blow up dolls...

    I see him a few days later, I say you go sex shop, he says yip, I asked for the doll and guy behind counter says Christian or Muslim,,, I say what's the difference,,, seemingly the Muslim ones blow themselfs up...
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    Yip think I posted it before,,, but I like it.............
    Perfectspecimen
    Perfectspecimen
     
     

    Liechtenstein Male Posts : 13733
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    Post by Perfectspecimen on Fri 25 Nov 2016 - 2:17

    Hmmm, Muslim virgins,,,,,,,,,,, was it 57 or am I getting confused with the Heinz variety. Todays news. 3025408739 Talking of beans, probs a lot of them have had their bean removed............  Todays news. 2419626307 Bet this gets removed as soon as Mermaid spots it in the morning Minty.  Todays news. 1554180325



    Adventure before dementia!!! Todays news. 294053457
    Mcqueen
    Mcqueen
     
     

    England Male Posts : 28835
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    Post by Mcqueen on Fri 25 Nov 2016 - 10:18

    Todays news. 3025408739
    Perfectspecimen
    Perfectspecimen
     
     

    Liechtenstein Male Posts : 13733
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    Post by Perfectspecimen on Fri 25 Nov 2016 - 17:00

    Its not April Fools day so it must be serious. Government are going to make the wearing of military medals that you havent actually been presented with illegal and up to six months jail for offenders. Thats as pathetic as the twats who wear them. Todays news. 1498946960 If anyone out there has a German U-boat medal please give me a shout, I'll wear it next November instead of a fecking poppy.



    Adventure before dementia!!! Todays news. 294053457

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