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    Do you have a goldfish?

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    Campbell Brodie
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 35121
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 62
    Location : Scotland

    Do you have a goldfish?

    Post by Campbell Brodie on Wed 4 May 2016 - 11:02



    Two Irish builders (Patrick and Seamus) are seated either side of a table in a pub when a well-dressed man enters, orders a beer and sits on a stool at the bar.

    The two builders start to speculate about the occupation of the suit

    Pat: - "I reckon he's an accountant."

    Seamus: - "No way - he's a stockbroker."

    Pat: - "He ain't no stockbroker! A stockbroker wouldn't come in here!"

    The argument repeats itself for some time until the volume of beer gets the better of Pat and he makes for the toilet.

    On entering the toilet he sees that the suit is standing at a urinal.

    Curiosity and the several beers get the better of him.
    Pat: - "Scuse me.... No offence meant, but me and me mate were wondering what you do for a living?"

    Suit: - "No offence taken! I'm a Logical Scientist by profession."

    Pat: - "Oh? What's that then?"

    Suit: - "I'll try to explain by example ..... Do you have a goldfish at home?"

    Pat: - "Er ... Mmm ........ Well yeah, I do as it happens!"

    Suit: - "Well, it's logical that you keep it either in a bowl or in a pond. Which is it?"

    Pat: - "It's in a pond!"

    Suit: - "Well it's reasonable to suppose that you have a large garden then?"

    Pat: - "As it happens, yes I have got a big garden."

    Suit: - "Well then it's logical to assume that, in this town, if you have a large garden then you have a large house?"

    Pat: - "As it happens I've got a five bedroom house ......... Built it myself!"

    Suit: - "Well given that you've built a five bedroom house it's logical to assume that you haven't built it just for yourself and that you are
    quite probably married? And with a family?"

    Pat: - "Yes I am married, I live with my wife and four children."

    Suit: - "Well then it is logical to assume that you are sexually active with your wife on a regular basis?"

    Pat: - "Yep! Five times a week!"

    Suit: - "Well then it is logical to suggest that you don't masturbate very often?"

    Pat: - "Do what? Not me, mate!"

    Suit: - "Well there you are! That's logical science at work!"

    Pat: - "How's that then?"

    Suit: - "Well, from finding out that you had a goldfish, I've told you about your sex life!"

    Pat: - "I see! That's pretty impressive.. Thanks mate!"

    Both leave the toilet and Pat returns to his mate.

    Seamus: - "I see the suit was in there. Did you ask him what he does?"

    Pat: - "Yep! He's a logical scientist!"

    Seamus: - "What's that then?"

    Pat: - "I'll try and explain. Do you have a goldfish?"

    Seamus: - "Nope."

    Pat: - "Well then, you're a wanker."



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    3rdforum
     
     

    Ireland Male Posts : 19037
    Join date : 2011-08-30
    Age : 46
    Location : Ireland

    Re: Do you have a goldfish?

    Post by 3rdforum on Wed 4 May 2016 - 13:40







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    Perfectspecimen
     
     

    Liechtenstein Male Posts : 12896
    Join date : 2011-08-15
    Age : 62
    Location : Cambs / Golf del Sur

    Re: Do you have a goldfish?

    Post by Perfectspecimen on Wed 4 May 2016 - 22:04

    Nice one. And even better, an Irishman laughing at Irish jokes.



    Adventure before dementia!!!
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    3rdforum
     
     

    Ireland Male Posts : 19037
    Join date : 2011-08-30
    Age : 46
    Location : Ireland

    Re: Do you have a goldfish?

    Post by 3rdforum on Wed 4 May 2016 - 22:18

    If its funny, it's funny!






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    Perfectspecimen
     
     

    Liechtenstein Male Posts : 12896
    Join date : 2011-08-15
    Age : 62
    Location : Cambs / Golf del Sur

    Re: Do you have a goldfish?

    Post by Perfectspecimen on Wed 4 May 2016 - 22:20

    To be sure it is fella!



    Adventure before dementia!!!
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    Topdog
     
     

    England Male Posts : 21021
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 57
    Location : England

    Re: Do you have a goldfish?

    Post by Topdog on Thu 5 May 2016 - 9:11

    I told Vince that one at the Canon, he laughed then, tell him again in a couple of montths as he would have forgot.




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