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    Jokes

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    Campbell Brodie
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 35100
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 62
    Location : Scotland

    Re: Jokes

    Post by Campbell Brodie on Thu 25 Feb 2016 - 18:07

    Money...



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    Mcqueen
     
     

    England Male Posts : 23433
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 63
    Location : England

    Re: Jokes

    Post by Mcqueen on Thu 25 Feb 2016 - 18:22

    they dont pay me much either
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    Campbell Brodie
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 35100
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 62
    Location : Scotland

    Re: Jokes

    Post by Campbell Brodie on Fri 26 Feb 2016 - 16:50

    "A class system is something you use to discriminate against someone who looks like you.'

    Reginald D Hunter (March 26 1969-)

    I thought this was Lenny Henry... Who the feck is Reginald D Hunter?  




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    Mcqueen
     
     

    England Male Posts : 23433
    Join date : 2011-08-13
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    Re: Jokes

    Post by Mcqueen on Fri 26 Feb 2016 - 16:54

    Mi brother
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    Campbell Brodie
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 35100
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 62
    Location : Scotland

    Re: Jokes

    Post by Campbell Brodie on Fri 26 Feb 2016 - 17:16

    Are you twins?



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    Mcqueen
     
     

    England Male Posts : 23433
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 63
    Location : England

    Re: Jokes

    Post by Mcqueen on Fri 26 Feb 2016 - 17:18

    When i worked
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    3rdforum
     
     

    Ireland Male Posts : 19027
    Join date : 2011-08-30
    Age : 46
    Location : Ireland

    Re: Jokes

    Post by 3rdforum on Fri 26 Feb 2016 - 17:39

    He's a tually quite good.






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    Mcqueen
     
     

    England Male Posts : 23433
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    Age : 63
    Location : England

    Re: Jokes

    Post by Mcqueen on Fri 26 Feb 2016 - 17:55

    avatar
    3rdforum
     
     

    Ireland Male Posts : 19027
    Join date : 2011-08-30
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    Re: Jokes

    Post by 3rdforum on Fri 26 Feb 2016 - 18:23

    my "c" didn't work. My tablet must have caught the same disease that Vince has






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    Mcqueen
     
     

    England Male Posts : 23433
    Join date : 2011-08-13
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    Re: Jokes

    Post by Mcqueen on Fri 26 Feb 2016 - 18:31

    avatar
    Campbell Brodie
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 35100
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 62
    Location : Scotland

    Re: Jokes

    Post by Campbell Brodie on Sat 27 Feb 2016 - 9:30

    "

    Last night, it was so cold, the flashers in New York were only describing themselves."

    Johnny Carson (1925-2005)





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    Campbell Brodie
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 35100
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 62
    Location : Scotland

    Re: Jokes

    Post by Campbell Brodie on Sun 28 Feb 2016 - 8:35

    "My boyfriend had a sex manual but he was dyslexic. I was lying there and he was looking for my vinegar.'

    Victoria Wood (May 19 1953)




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    Mcqueen
     
     

    England Male Posts : 23433
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    Re: Jokes

    Post by Mcqueen on Sun 28 Feb 2016 - 9:38

      Most men dont know where it is  , Its next to the salt innit
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    Topdog
     
     

    England Male Posts : 21019
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    Re: Jokes

    Post by Topdog on Sun 28 Feb 2016 - 10:15

    My Mother in lawa said she has been diagnosed with Vagina, something to do with her Achery.



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    Campbell Brodie
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 35100
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 62
    Location : Scotland

    Re: Jokes

    Post by Campbell Brodie on Mon 29 Feb 2016 - 9:31

    "Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair. But a confident bald man - there's your diamond in the rough.'

    Larry David (July 2 1947-)




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    Campbell Brodie
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 35100
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    Age : 62
    Location : Scotland

    Re: Jokes

    Post by Campbell Brodie on Tue 1 Mar 2016 - 9:08

    "A scout troop consists of twelve little kids dressed like schmucks following a big schmuck dressed like a kid.'

    Jack Benny (1894-1974)




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    3rdforum
     
     

    Ireland Male Posts : 19027
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    Location : Ireland

    Re: Jokes

    Post by 3rdforum on Tue 1 Mar 2016 - 9:13

    When I read that first, I thought he was on about Jesus and the 12 apostles!






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    Mcqueen
     
     

    England Male Posts : 23433
    Join date : 2011-08-13
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    Re: Jokes

    Post by Mcqueen on Tue 1 Mar 2016 - 9:15

    Same thing
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    Campbell Brodie
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 35100
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 62
    Location : Scotland

    Re: Jokes

    Post by Campbell Brodie on Tue 1 Mar 2016 - 9:22




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    Adam Mint
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 17613
    Join date : 2011-10-07
    Age : 52

    Re: Jokes

    Post by Adam Mint on Wed 2 Mar 2016 - 15:37

    My mate ain't getting on to well with his wife so there ain't been no action in the bedroom department  for a while, he decides to go down the sex shop with the intention of buying one of them inflatable dolls, assistant asks him what relgeon he wants Christian or Muslim? He asks what's the difference,,, reply,  the Muslim ones blow themselves up...
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    Topdog
     
     

    England Male Posts : 21019
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 57
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    Re: Jokes

    Post by Topdog on Wed 2 Mar 2016 - 17:04

      Catholic ones are for kids.



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    Campbell Brodie
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 35100
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 62
    Location : Scotland

    Re: Jokes

    Post by Campbell Brodie on Thu 3 Mar 2016 - 12:07

    "Lot of strip clubs in Florida. Good grief. Florida has so many strip clubs, they need to change their state flag to a brass pole.'

    Wanda Sykes (March 7, 1964)




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    Campbell Brodie
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 35100
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 62
    Location : Scotland

    Re: Jokes

    Post by Campbell Brodie on Fri 4 Mar 2016 - 8:53

    "I met a beautiful girl last night, but she was rather thin. I mean this is a skinny girl. You never saw anybody so thin. She turned sideways you didn’t see her. I took her to a restaurant and the maître‘d said to me, ‘Can I check your umbrella?’

    Mel Brooks (June 28 1926-)




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    Campbell Brodie
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 35100
    Join date : 2011-08-13
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    Location : Scotland

    Re: Jokes

    Post by Campbell Brodie on Sat 5 Mar 2016 - 8:41

    "Let's call a spade a spade - a lot of times when you are a vegetarian it is a just not very effective eating disorder.'

    Lena Dunham (May 13 1986-)




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    Campbell Brodie
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 35100
    Join date : 2011-08-13
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    Location : Scotland

    Re: Jokes

    Post by Campbell Brodie on Sun 6 Mar 2016 - 9:13

    "I have low self-esteem; when we were in bed together, I would fantasise that I was someone else.'Richard Lewis (June 29 1947-)




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    Re: Jokes

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