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    Humour.

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    Campbell Brodie
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 35121
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 62
    Location : Scotland

    Re: Humour.

    Post by Campbell Brodie on Sun 18 Sep 2016 - 21:47

    It makes you smile!



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    Campbell Brodie
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 35121
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 62
    Location : Scotland

    Re: Humour.

    Post by Campbell Brodie on Mon 19 Sep 2016 - 13:06




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    Mcqueen
     
     

    England Male Posts : 23445
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 63
    Location : England

    Re: Humour.

    Post by Mcqueen on Mon 19 Sep 2016 - 15:48

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    Campbell Brodie
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 35121
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 62
    Location : Scotland

    Re: Humour.

    Post by Campbell Brodie on Tue 20 Sep 2016 - 12:09




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    Campbell Brodie
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 35121
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 62
    Location : Scotland

    Re: Humour.

    Post by Campbell Brodie on Tue 20 Sep 2016 - 12:34

    A pensioner drove his brand new Mercedes to 100 mph, looking in his rear view mirror , he saw a police car behind him. He floored it to 140 , then 150, ... then 170, ... Suddenly he thought, "I'm too old for this nonsense !" So he pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the police car to catch up with him.

    The officer walked up to him, looked at his watch and said, "Sir, my shift ends in ten minutes. Today is Friday and I'm taking off for the weekend with my family. If you can give me a good reason that I've never heard before, why you were speeding... I'll let you go."

    The Man looked very seriously at the police man, and replied :- "Years ago, my wife ran off with a policeman, I thought you were bringing her back." !!!

    The Cop left saying, " Have a good day, Sir "....



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    Mcqueen
     
     

    England Male Posts : 23445
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 63
    Location : England

    Re: Humour.

    Post by Mcqueen on Tue 20 Sep 2016 - 13:01

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    Campbell Brodie
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 35121
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 62
    Location : Scotland

    Re: Humour.

    Post by Campbell Brodie on Tue 20 Sep 2016 - 18:57




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    3rdforum
     
     

    Ireland Male Posts : 19037
    Join date : 2011-08-30
    Age : 46
    Location : Ireland

    Re: Humour.

    Post by 3rdforum on Tue 20 Sep 2016 - 20:44







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    Mcqueen
     
     

    England Male Posts : 23445
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    Location : England

    Re: Humour.

    Post by Mcqueen on Wed 21 Sep 2016 - 8:20

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    Campbell Brodie
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 35121
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 62
    Location : Scotland

    Re: Humour.

    Post by Campbell Brodie on Wed 21 Sep 2016 - 10:01

    Scroll through these screenshots of texts between mother and daughter...

    FB texts



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    Mcqueen
     
     

    England Male Posts : 23445
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    Re: Humour.

    Post by Mcqueen on Wed 21 Sep 2016 - 10:25

    Blimey is that for real   Both barking 
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    Campbell Brodie
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 35121
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 62
    Location : Scotland

    Re: Humour.

    Post by Campbell Brodie on Wed 21 Sep 2016 - 10:41

    Had me in stitches though!



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    Mcqueen
     
     

    England Male Posts : 23445
    Join date : 2011-08-13
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    Location : England

    Re: Humour.

    Post by Mcqueen on Wed 21 Sep 2016 - 10:45

    Our Lexie is starting to get lippy in a nice way tho, She calls me Grumpylocks and the 3 hairs
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    Campbell Brodie
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 35121
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 62
    Location : Scotland

    Re: Humour.

    Post by Campbell Brodie on Wed 21 Sep 2016 - 11:18




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    3rdforum
     
     

    Ireland Male Posts : 19037
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    Re: Humour.

    Post by 3rdforum on Wed 21 Sep 2016 - 11:55

    Eoghan just calls me a dickhead






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    Campbell Brodie
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 35121
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 62
    Location : Scotland

    Re: Humour.

    Post by Campbell Brodie on Wed 21 Sep 2016 - 12:17

    I became a "tube" when my 2 girls reached their teens...



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    Campbell Brodie
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 35121
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 62
    Location : Scotland

    Re: Humour.

    Post by Campbell Brodie on Wed 21 Sep 2016 - 15:17




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    Campbell Brodie
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 35121
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 62
    Location : Scotland

    Re: Humour.

    Post by Campbell Brodie on Thu 22 Sep 2016 - 8:49




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    Campbell Brodie
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 35121
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 62
    Location : Scotland

    Re: Humour.

    Post by Campbell Brodie on Thu 22 Sep 2016 - 14:57




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    Mcqueen
     
     

    England Male Posts : 23445
    Join date : 2011-08-13
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    Location : England

    Re: Humour.

    Post by Mcqueen on Thu 22 Sep 2016 - 15:02

    avatar
    Campbell Brodie
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 35121
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 62
    Location : Scotland

    Re: Humour.

    Post by Campbell Brodie on Thu 22 Sep 2016 - 15:33



    After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet" which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

    Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS pilots ("P") and solutions recorded ("S") by maintenance engineers:

    P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
    S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

    P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
    S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

    P: Something loose in cockpit
    S: Something tightened in cockpit

    P: Dead bugs on windshield.
    S: Live bugs on back-order.

    P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent
    S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

    P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
    S: Evidence removed.

    P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
    S: DME volume set to more believable level.

    P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
    S: That's what friction locks are for.

    P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
    S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

    P: Suspected crack in windshield.
    S: Suspect you're right.

    P: Number 3 engine missing.
    S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

    P: Aircraft handles funny.
    S: Aircraft warned to: straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

    P: Target radar hums.
    S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

    P: Mouse in cockpit.
    S: Cat installed.

    P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
    S: Took hammer away from midget



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    Campbell Brodie
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 35121
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 62
    Location : Scotland

    Re: Humour.

    Post by Campbell Brodie on Thu 22 Sep 2016 - 15:37




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    Mcqueen
     
     

    England Male Posts : 23445
    Join date : 2011-08-13
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    Location : England

    Re: Humour.

    Post by Mcqueen on Thu 22 Sep 2016 - 16:06

    avatar
    Campbell Brodie
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 35121
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 62
    Location : Scotland

    Re: Humour.

    Post by Campbell Brodie on Thu 22 Sep 2016 - 19:03

    Fishing on drugs



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    Mcqueen
     
     

    England Male Posts : 23445
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    Age : 63
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    Re: Humour.

    Post by Mcqueen on Thu 22 Sep 2016 - 19:09

    Sometimes i feel i'm missing out

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