Tenerife's Forum of Fun

Tenerife Forum of Fun!

Not a member? Register here to join our fun forum!
Once you register, you will receive an e-mail asking you to validate your membership. Click on the link and away you go!

Thank you for joining, now have some fun!
Tenerife's Forum of Fun

A place for visitors and residents to share experiences and have fun at the same time.

Welcome to Tenerife Forum of Fun! Register and join in!

    MALE VS. FEMALE AT THE ATM..

    Share
    avatar
    BobMac
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 501
    Join date : 2012-03-22
    Age : 70
    Location : Chelmsford

    MALE VS. FEMALE AT THE ATM..

    Post by BobMac on Mon 25 Jul 2016 - 15:05

    A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads: 

    'Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. 

    Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts. 

    After months of careful research, "MALE & FEMALE" procedures have been developed. 


    Please follow the appropriate steps 

    MALE PROCEDURE

    1. Drive up to the cash machine. 
    2. Put down your car window. 
    3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN. 
    4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw. 
    5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt. 
    6. Put window up. 
    7. Drive off. 





    FEMALE PROCEDURE

    (What is really funny is that some ??of this part is the truth!!!!) 

    1. Drive up to cash machine. 
    2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine. 
    3. Set parking brake, put the window down. 
    4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card. 
    5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up. 
    6. Attempt to insert card into machine. 
    7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car. 
    8. Insert card. 
    9. Re-insert card the right way. 
    10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page. 
    11. Enter PIN 
    12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN. 
    13. Enter amount of cash required 
    14. Check makeup in rear view mirror. 
    15. Retrieve cash and receipt. 
    16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside. 
    17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of check book. 
    18. Re-check makeup. 
    19 Drive forward 2 feet. 
    20. Reverse back to cash machine. 
    21. Retrieve card. 
    22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided! 
    23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you. 
    24. Restart stalled engine and pull off. 
    25. Re-dial person on cell phone. 
    26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles. 
    27. Release Parking Brake.



    avatar
    searcher
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 5974
    Join date : 2012-09-18
    Age : 72
    Location : edinburgh

    Re: MALE VS. FEMALE AT THE ATM..

    Post by searcher on Mon 25 Jul 2016 - 16:02

    What do you mean by PART of this is the truth ? It is factual 
    avatar
    Mcqueen
     
     

    England Male Posts : 23433
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 63
    Location : England

    Re: MALE VS. FEMALE AT THE ATM..

    Post by Mcqueen on Mon 25 Jul 2016 - 16:24

    Have you seen carols make up bag      
    avatar
    3rdforum
     
     

    Ireland Male Posts : 19027
    Join date : 2011-08-30
    Age : 46
    Location : Ireland

    Re: MALE VS. FEMALE AT THE ATM..

    Post by 3rdforum on Mon 25 Jul 2016 - 16:31







    avatar
    Campbell Brodie
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 35100
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 62
    Location : Scotland

    Re: MALE VS. FEMALE AT THE ATM..

    Post by Campbell Brodie on Mon 25 Jul 2016 - 17:26




    Helpful Links.
           Hotels Map | Tenerife living guide. | FAQ | Forum Help |
               

    avatar
    zdeekie
     
     

    UK Female Posts : 1874
    Join date : 2013-04-21
    Age : 60

    Re: MALE VS. FEMALE AT THE ATM..

    Post by zdeekie on Mon 25 Jul 2016 - 17:36

    E yyyy you lot I agree with everything on the female procedure apart from no 23 turning to the male driver & giving him a filthy look , he would get a off me.
    As for the make up one has to enhance ones beauty , not cover it up x
    avatar
    Campbell Brodie
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 35100
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 62
    Location : Scotland

    Re: MALE VS. FEMALE AT THE ATM..

    Post by Campbell Brodie on Mon 25 Jul 2016 - 17:54




    Helpful Links.
           Hotels Map | Tenerife living guide. | FAQ | Forum Help |
               

    avatar
    Adam Mint
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 17613
    Join date : 2011-10-07
    Age : 52

    Re: MALE VS. FEMALE AT THE ATM..

    Post by Adam Mint on Tue 26 Jul 2016 - 16:59

    Same as at supermarket checkouts innit,,, checkout girl asks them to insert card in to machine, blank look, oh card, followed by a ten minute rummage through the handbag to find it,,, WTF they never been to a supermarket before, it's as if they were never expecting to have to pay for everything in the trolley...

    avatar
    Adam Mint
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 17613
    Join date : 2011-10-07
    Age : 52

    Re: MALE VS. FEMALE AT THE ATM..

    Post by Adam Mint on Tue 26 Jul 2016 - 17:02

    But that said, pub in station you go down a corridor to the toilets, it's like a "T" junction at the end of the corridor, there's a sign "Gents to left, Ladies are allways right"...

    avatar
    Topdog
     
     

    England Male Posts : 21019
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 57
    Location : England

    Re: MALE VS. FEMALE AT THE ATM..

    Post by Topdog on Tue 26 Jul 2016 - 18:34

    Old lady at cash point was trying to see the screen and asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her and she hit the deck



    avatar
    Adam Mint
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 17613
    Join date : 2011-10-07
    Age : 52

    Re: MALE VS. FEMALE AT THE ATM..

    Post by Adam Mint on Tue 26 Jul 2016 - 18:44

    avatar
    Mcqueen
     
     

    England Male Posts : 23433
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 63
    Location : England

    Re: MALE VS. FEMALE AT THE ATM..

    Post by Mcqueen on Tue 26 Jul 2016 - 18:46

    avatar
    3rdforum
     
     

    Ireland Male Posts : 19027
    Join date : 2011-08-30
    Age : 46
    Location : Ireland

    Re: MALE VS. FEMALE AT THE ATM..

    Post by 3rdforum on Tue 26 Jul 2016 - 19:03







    avatar
    Topdog
     
     

    England Male Posts : 21019
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 57
    Location : England

    Re: MALE VS. FEMALE AT THE ATM..

    Post by Topdog on Tue 26 Jul 2016 - 22:21

    I helped her up and she thanked me and said"can you see me across the road" so I went over the road and show Ted "yes" to her



    avatar
    Mcqueen
     
     

    England Male Posts : 23433
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 63
    Location : England

    Re: MALE VS. FEMALE AT THE ATM..

    Post by Mcqueen on Wed 27 Jul 2016 - 9:26

    WTF
    avatar
    Campbell Brodie
     
     

    Scotland Male Posts : 35100
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 62
    Location : Scotland

    Re: MALE VS. FEMALE AT THE ATM..

    Post by Campbell Brodie on Wed 27 Jul 2016 - 17:18




    Helpful Links.
           Hotels Map | Tenerife living guide. | FAQ | Forum Help |
               


    Sponsored content

    Re: MALE VS. FEMALE AT THE ATM..

    Post by Sponsored content


      Current date/time is Tue 23 May 2017 - 11:52